Lessons learned from Survivor tonight (No Spoilers)

Heidi, besides having one of the largest upper bicuspids of any mammal I’ve ever seen, is one of the most conceited and self-centered annoyances ever to hit reality television. First, it was her contempt for Christy, the deaf tribemate, who she quickly ostracized for being difficult to communicate with. Tonight, it was her division of the “pretty girls” and the “older girls.” Someone has a pretty high opinion of herself. Don’t worry, though, as she’ll tell you that it’s all tricks of editing. Riiiiight.

Speaking of all that, here’s one quick lesson for future female SURVIVOR contestants: Paradoxically, the more you bare, the less the TV cameras can show. In one extended sequence tonight, the producers felt the need to show us the three “pretty girls” bathing. Extensively. With plenty of closeups, and background music that sounded like it escaped from a wannabe porn movie. So the girls take off their tops, attempt to cover their chests with one arm, and wash with the other. In the end, we see more breasts (on a network show at 8:30) than if they had just walked around buck naked and let the digitizing do its darnedest. Maybe it’s the shyness in front of the cameramen more than the camera itself. (And wouldn’t it make sense to have a few female camera operators this season?) I don’t know.

One last lesson learned from tonight’s SURVIVOR: Sweeps is over. Everything else was in reruns. And everything next week is in reruns. One of the reasons that reality TV does so well, I’m convinced, is that they DON’T program themselves strictly for sweeps periods. They build from week-to-week. They don’t show 4 episodes, and then take a month off. You know SURVIVOR will be on for however-many straight weeks, perhaps with a break for the Final Four one week or something special. You know BIG BROTHER 4 this summer will air 2-3 nights per week, and that you’ll NEVER get a rerun. And while shows like JOE MILLIONAIRE and AMERICAN IDOL may pad out their episode numbers (4 groups of 8 instead of 3 groups of 10? C’mon!), they’re still new productions every week.


3 Responses to “Lessons learned from Survivor tonight (No Spoilers)”

  1. Adam
    28. February 2003 at 10:56

    God damnit!!! My Tivo recorded a rerun of CSI instead of survivor boobies!!!!

  2. Augie De Blieck Jr.
    28. February 2003 at 11:32

    Nope, CSI was on right after SURVIVOR. Still, I think you would have enjoyed the episode. You’ll have to wait for the DVD now, Adam. Sorry.


  3. z€®ø
    5. March 2003 at 17:33

    I completely agree with your assessment of Heidi… What a bitch! She’s not THAT hot and, for the record, Deaf People Rule!