I stood eight parking spots in front of Avril Lavigne, her voice filling a cacaphonous chamber of echoes and screaming teenagers. The snow attempted to accumulate into a quieting blanket, but never stood a chance. This group of three or four hundred people gathered together, their breath crystallizing in the air above their heads, and attempted to make sense of songs they never heard before, giggling at a naughty word and cheering for the rare known element. They waved their modern technical gadgets in the air, snapping digital pictures from too far away for even a 5 megapixel camera to get a good shot, and holding cell phones open so that their friends at home might make out the familiar notes of Sk8ter Boi.

This, then, is the story of Avril Lavigne at the Garden State Plaza, 2004.

It started innocently enough with an e-mail from Chris Eliopoulos. No introduction, just a simple forward with a subject of “Avril for you!”:

Wednesday, March 17, 5PM
Paramus, NJ - Garden State Plaza

After much hemming and hawing, I decided to give it a shot. You only live once, right? I know the mall pretty well, passing by it every night on the way home from work. I assumed they’d set her up outside Sam Goodys, by where the merry-go-round is.

I reached the mall at 4:30 with plenty of time to find the right location, hit the bathroom, and pick up some sugar free candy. I went over to Sam Goodys, where nothing was set up. They’ve had in-store appearances there before, but this obviously wasn’t one of those times. I saw no signs indicating the “surprise” concert, which was only announced within the past 24 hours. So I began walking the mall. The exercise is, after all, good for you. And the GSP afforded plenty of mall to walk.

Snippets of conversation caught my ear from teenie-boppers as they walked by. “Security has no idea who Avril is or where—” “Down here somewhere–” “Daddy–” “I don’t see anything–”

Good, so at least I wasn’t alone. I was just old, and so easily ignored. The mall is laid out, roughly, like a square, with large open areas at each vertex. I checked each in turn, and found only tired mothers behind strollers and small children doing their best to escape for the KB Toy Store. Water fountains threw water into the air, as pennies lined the basin. Nowhere was Avril or her people to be found.

I took this as a challenge. I didn’t want to ask anyone where it was happening, or if it had been cancelled. It was 4:50 and I was resolute to figure this out by myself.

Finally, I saw a string of ratty looking teenagers heading into Nordstrom’s. This is not the kind of store you generally find young punks. Nordstroms? Then, a woman walked by on a cell phone and I caught the words “Avril” and “Nordstroms.”

Nordstroms does have a piano at the center, where live music is often played, sometimes by the father of WPLJ radio producer Bruce Goldberg. True fact. Obscure and meaningless, but I’m enjoying this rambling presentation of the relatively simple story, so I run with it.

I walked into Nordstrom’s, in my khakis and button down blue shirt. I fit in better than the hordes in their tattered overly-baggy blue jeans and logo-emblazoned hoodies. (We used to just call them “hooded sweatshirts” in my day.) I happened to be looking for a new dress jacket, so I took advantage of the remaining free minutes to check out the men’s section and talk to a salesman there about getting a sports blazer of some sort. He measures me up at about 42 inches around at the chest, but he says my shoulders are broad, so he fit me for a 46 or 48 inch coat in an extra long. The sleeves needed to be pulled in a half inch, but it was fine otherwise. I thanked him for his time, got his card, and told him I had to shop around before I picked anything. I liked the black jacket he found for me, but I didn’t like the idea of paying $400 for it.

Back to Avril.

I followed one group downstairs, where they were turned away by security and told to go upstairs, outside, and around.

Yes, the concert was being held in the lower level of the parking garage outside. It’s been snowing for about 36 hours straight now. No accumulation today, but still. It’s 30 degrees outside, and I’m in a mall going to a concert. In a parking garage?!? Bizarre.

I followed the crowd to the final location. A small stage stood front and center, surrounded by ads for AOL Broadband and Z-100, a local radio station and favorite of the urban music dwellers. AOL did once produce a fantastic 20 minute set by Avril and her guitarist of acoustic music that I downloaded from Napster or Kazaa or somesuch. If you can still find it on a P2P network somewhere, download it. It’s good, and it was what excited me for this appearance.

Sure enough, there Avril was on stage with the same guitarist dude from her band. Not sure if he’s the one she’s been linked to romantically or not, but they’ve always sounded great together. And today they did again. Just those two and a couple of guitars. That’s it. The performance lasted a half hour, even though I missed the first five. It included a few new songs from the album due out in May, and Sk8ter Boi and Complicated from the first album, of course. The sound was amazingly good, given the tight quarters and low unsoundproofed ceiling. I’d guess about 3 to 4 hundred people were there, standing in front of the stage, with more spread out behind. I took up a position behind the main group, giving plenty of space to the teeming masses. I looked at the paint on the ground and realized I was about 8 parking spots away from multi-million album selling artist Avril Lavigne. Pretty cool.

Security brought down every person who dared to perch atop another’s shoulder. A couple of burly security guards patrolled the area in black short sleeved t-shirts with the word “SECURITY” printed across the shoulder blades. It’s 30 degrees out and they’re walking around with no gloves, no hat, and short sleeves. I’m beginning to sound like my mother, aren’t I?

Here’s the thing about Avril Lavigne: I really like her first album. It sounds great. When she does it live with the full band, though, it loses something. She often has to reach or stretch for notes that don’t seem naturally in her range. The first album was put together in large part by the mega-platinum songwriting team of The Matrix. They took her basic songs, tweaked ‘em, synthesized ‘em up, and turned them into radio hits. But when you try to do those computer-enhanced songs live, it’s not going to work. Going back to the basics with just a couple of guitars and another singer who can do harmony with you is a great thing. It works.

That’s why this concert today sounded so great to me. It’s simple and straightforward. The new album was written and recorded without The Matrix, on Lavigne’s terms. What you’ll probably get is an album that, musically, is more within her range. I can only hope it will also be less overproduced. The new songs I heard today were pretty cool. Nothing that screams “Radio Megahit,” mind you, but solid songs with a more mature bent. It’s that awkward time of transition from teen pop idol to respected adult songwriter. She’s not there yet, don’t get me wrong. The songs are still about things like telling boys they won’t get their hands down her pants and the such, but there is definitely a less playful and more serious side that I heard today. It’s less poppy, really, but it’s music that plays well and should still appeal to most of her fans, who are likewise a couple of years older than when the first album hit. The really young fans can progress to Hillary Duff now, I suspect.

The trick now, of course, will be to see how the new songs translate onto the album. Will it be overproduced and whizbanged up? Or will the more simple acoustic effects remain? I hope it’s the later.

I believe her new single is out this week. I’ll have to keep an ear out for it, because I know she played it this afternoon.

And so just past 5:30, Avril screamed her thankyous, and walked off the stage and into a crowd of fans hoping for an autograph. I don’t know if she stopped or not. I had nothing to get signed and didn’t want to throw myself into that mess. I wish I had had my camera with me, but them’s the breaks. Instead, I walked out of the parking garage, across the street, and back into the mall with dozens of other happy fans. Shoes squeeking on the tile floor, we let loose into the mall to go back our separate ways. For me, that was straight to the car on the other side of the facilities, and a straight drive home. When I got to the car, I discovered that my cell phone is rejecting my hands-free device’s plug again. This is the second phone to do so in a month. It might be time to consider a new model.

And there are still two months to go before the new Avril Lavigne album. I can’t wait.

I can only hope my next Avril story will concern the guided missile you can fire at Raptors in UNREAL TOURNAMENT 2004.

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