Oscars 2005, Part 1
This will take many many parts over the next few hours and days. Be patient, grasshoppers.
We start with an opening film montage, in which Michael Moore is called a “hero,” and already things are off to a rollicking start. I’m surprised Che Guevara wasn’t included in that “hero” segment, too, but we’ll get to that later.
Rock starts off with an opening monologue that reminds me a bit of Steve Martin, who would always be my choice for host of the show. Martin has a knack for cutting on Hollywood in general without being mean. He has that self-deprecating humor down pat. He’s not picking fights. And he’s naturally funny. Sadly, Rock couldn’t not sound mean, and at least one presenter without a sense of humor would later call him on it. Ah, Sean Penn…
Chris Rock was also, at times, almost unintelligible. I had to strain to make out what he was saying through the shouting. And while I appreciate all the jabs at various people — including Cuba Gooding Jr. for that Boat movie — some of it felt a little awkward to do at the Academy Awards. He was no Steve Martin.
Then there’s the political aspect of it. Rock launched into a three minute stand up comedy routine about the Bush administration. It started off OK, as it was actually linked to the movies. Then it veered off and never came back. The Michael Moore line was funny because it related back to the movies. The Bush part of the routine was just a “Hey, liberal Hollywood, please love me” bit. Completely out of place.
Onto some awards:
Putting all the nominees on stage reminded me of AMERICAN IDOL. It’s just plain cruel. How would you like to stand up in front of the world and be seen to lose? If you’re sitting at your seat, at least the camera whips right off you and you can hide in your chair for a while, and accept the lame “I’m sorry”s of your fellow movie makers seated round you. On stage? You’re toast.
Renee Zellwegger took forever to talk to the microphone, mostly because it’s impossible to move her legs above the knees in that dress. It was awkward.
Robin Williams protests his “censoring” by showing up with a piece of tape over his mouth, and then uses all the same jokes, anyway, but not in song form. It’s a bunch of tired lame jokes, anyway. Hasn’t he done the Elmer Fudd “Stella” joke before? Robin Williams is tired. Time to go away.
He introduces the nominess for “Best Animated Film” as being “the cream of this year’s crop,” but leads off with SHARK TALE. So much for the cream. Thankfully, THE INCREDIBLES won. They should have had this category when THE IRON GIANT came out, so Brad Bird could have won then. Sadly, the Academy probably would have given it to whatever cookie cutter Disney movie also came out that year.
I’m sick of Dustin Hoffman already. He is to the Oscars what Ellen Degeneres was to the Grammys — the “go to guy” for crowd reaction shots.
Beyonce singing in French? Impressive. One of the kids in that boys choir is a local, so we cheer them on, even if they were barely audible in the piece.
Scarlett Johansen (I know that spelling is off somehow) was chosen as the Tech Geek’s Dream Girl this year. She stands in the balcony to introduce the segment with a left arm that won’t stop waving as she talks. I thought she came down with Parkinson’s for a brief moment…
Pierce Brosnan is introduced with the Bond theme music. I guess the Academy doesn’t keep up with the latest news from the Broccoli family, eh?
To be continued. . .
28. February 2005 at 09:44
Maybe i’m looking too much into things but during the memorial part to the passed away figures in showbiz the clip they used for brando was done, i thought, in poor taste. They used the clip from streetcar where he says “i could have been somebody, but now i’m just a bum”. i mean, maybe i’m looking too much into this, but it seemed to me a statement by the academy made to imply his wasting of his talents. i mean, i know it’s one of his famous parts but I feel they could have used a better line and clip…..
28. February 2005 at 10:46
Yeah, I think you’re looking a bit too closely, Porkspam. That might be Brando’s most famous line, period, and I think people will know it’s a tribute to his performance and not a snide commentary.
I agree that Chris Rock didn’t quite pull off the non-mean thing. He’s not trying to put down Colin Farrell, or Jude Law, or whoever, but it didn’t work.
The Bush jokes could have worked if phrased better, I think, but as is they did make me cringe (especially after he prefaced them with “I’m not going to bash Bush…”). The thing about having to re-apply for your job when there’s a film out there making you look bad was amusing. But I’d have canned the bit following that.
I had mixed feelings about putting the nominees on stage for some awards, and doing some awards from the audience. On the one hand, there’s having to stand/sit there after losing. But on the other hand, these lesser-known nominees do get to have a moment on screen as recognition, which I’d think would be nice.
28. February 2005 at 17:02
I noticed Scarlett’s twitching arm, too, but it was just one of those things I had to decide not to mention if I EVER wanted to finish my recap. Good catch!
1. March 2005 at 11:23
Tom – I can’t blame you for it, then. And thanks. While we obviously disagree on a great many things about the Oscars this year, I enjoyed your writeup as well. One of these years, I’ll get up the energy to liveblog it. . .
Scott – I’ve been thinking a lot this week about how they gave out the awards this year. Clearly, I’ve been thinking about it TOO MUCH, but it’s something everyone’s been talking about. And the more I think of it, the more I don’t mind it. I’ll write something up separately later this week to explain my thoughts on it. They’re a bit of tough love, perhaps, but I think there are some things that need to be said, and people need to be honest about. That is, as strong a creative job as Sound Mixing or Sound Editing are, nobody watches the Oscars for it. It might be cruel, but let’s skip by those quickly. More on that later. . .