Welcome to the longest free form DVD release list ever. The comment-free release list can be found at DVDJournal.com.
* Backyardigans: It’s Great to Be a Ghost
* Blue Ice (1992)
Better than yellow ice.
* The Blues Brothers: 25th Anniversary Edition (2-disc set) (1980)
The first movie to feature a dead fat cokehead.
* Britney & Kevin: Chaotic
Six episodes of pure train wreck.
* Clueless: The Whatever Edition (1995)
* Corvette Summer (1978)
I had a great summer once with a Ford Festiva, but nobody offered me a movie deal.
* Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season Four (2-disc set)
I’m still on season one, but it’s a very funny show.
* Curly Top (1935)
Use a hair straightener.
* Dance with Death (1991)
Just don’t step on her toes —
* Dead Silence (1995)
— because this would be the result.
* Doomsday Gun (1994)
Go fig – we do need gun control.
* Eleanor & Franklin: The Early Years
I’m waiting for the sequel of John and Teresa: The Early Years. The ketchup product placement in the kitchen scenes might be distracting, though.
* Fairly OddParents: Scary Godparents
That’s what my goddaughter thinks of me, actually.
* Fathers and Sons (2005)
Better than “Fathers and Son.”
* Fire and Ice (1983)
A movie inspired by Frazetta, as I recall.
* Garfield and Friends: Vol. 4 (3-disc set)
Nothing snarky here. Buy it. “Picnic Panic” comes to DVD, at last.
* Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay (1971)
Natalie Hollowell is one of them now.
* Heidi (1937)
Sorry, can’t watch it. There’s a Jets game on.
What? Wrong HEIDI? Crap.
* Hero at Large (1980)
But he’s going on Celebrity Fit Club’s next season, so he won’t be for long.
* The Hidden/The Hidden 2 (1987/1994)
I guess they finally found it, since there’s no HIDDEN 3.
* House: Season One (3-disc set)
Next season, it finally becomes a home.
* I Was a Zombie for the FBI (1982)
Best movie title of the week.
* Justice (2004)
* Land of the Lost: Stak Attack
This should be an obvious punchline, but I don’t have one.
* Lilo & Stitch 2 (2005)
Another Disney direct-to-video cheap crappy sequel, no doubt.
I’m only half way through the list and I’m so tired. . .
* Loving Couples (1980)
I can’t believe any two actors from Hollywood could play the title role convincingly.
* Mind of the Married Man: Season One (2-disc set)
I confused this with another show during the podcast this week, so just ignore my comments there.
* Mistrial (1996)
Not for long. Soon, she’ll marry Bob and be Mrs. Trial. (No, that doesn’t make sense. Just keep moving.)
* Monster-in-Law (2005)
A PERFECT role for Jane Fonda.
* The Morning After (1986)
Lots of throwing up, if it involved Jane Fonda.
* Nip/Tuck: Season Two (6-disc set)
Lots of you like it. Here you have it.
* One Last Dance (2003)
I was at a wedding this past week where the CD skipped and the DJ ended the reception on the last song. True story.
* Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior (2003)
I need this movie. I also need time to watch it.
* Pete Best: Best of the Beatles
If the fifth Beatle was the best Beatle, then Ringo must really suck.
* Pirates of Silicon Valley (1999)
Arrrr! Avast, ye OSes!
* The Purifiers (2004)
A movie about Cuisinarts.
* Rollover (1981)
Sit. Good boy!
* Roseanne: Season One (4-disc set)
* Sahara (2005)
That reminds me — I’m thirsty.
* School of the Holy Beast (Seiju gakuen) (2005)
In other words: High school.
* Schultze Gets the Blues (2005)
But the doctor gave him new meds, so it should clear up soon.
* Secrets of a Call Girl (Anna, quel particolare piacere) (1973)
* The Sensuous Nurse (L’infermiera) (1975)
* The Shirley Temple Collection: Vol. 1 (3-disc set)
That’s just an odd trilogy of titles to show up in a row like that, don’tcha think?
* Shot Through the Heart (1998)
And you’re too late. You give love a bad name.
* Strapped (1993)
Maybe this belongs up there with THE SENSUOUS NURSE.
* Strawberry Shortcake: Moonlight Mysteries
The butler did it.
* Street Trash (1987)
* Tommy Boy: Holy Schnike Edition (1995)
Our second dead fat cokehead of the week.
* Twelfth Night (1996)
But on the 13th, he rested his noodly appendages.
* Walk on Water (2004)
No, thanks. I did that last night. A good magician never repeats his tricks. A good hooker, on the other hand. . . (Really, I try to keep this blog G-rated, but sometimes I have to go for it.)
* Water Under the Bridge (2003)
Unless it’s in New Orleans right now, that’s likely where the water is.
* Warm Springs (2005)
I doubt even the IMDB would remember this movie. Oh, wait, it was a TV movie. All bets are off.
* Wild Life
Great TALKING HEADS song.
* The Winter Guest (1997)
Mr. Frosty? But he always melts in the end. . .
* Wise Guys (1986)
For my birthday, they brought me gold, frankincense, and myrrh. (Remember what I said above about walking on water? Get it?)
I’m tired. Next week’s release list is longer, and includes BUFFALO BILL (Seasons 1 and 2), CRASH, FRAGGLE ROCK!!!! That’s all I need to say. See you then!