Whoa. So much to talk about, but first I need to send an open letter to Janelle.

Dear Janelle,

Congratulations on your HoH win tonight. Don’t know how legit it is, given how you changed your answer when Julie asked you to turn it right-side up. There’s a big question mark hanging over that little event, and I’ll be shocked if it isn’t splitting the Reality TV portion of the internet in two at this very minute.

But let’s just go with the decision of the producers being final. Julie clearly was waiting for confirmation on who won the game in her ear piece. She was as confused as the rest of us. Did you pick up a tell from Howie, sitting in front of you and reading the other signs first, to go lower? Who knows? We’ll give you the win.

Your celebration was age appropriate, just as you and your second grade chum, Howie, have acted all week. But it should be tempered by this knowledge: The other “team” holds an advantage right now of 6 to 3. I’m giving James to “The Friendship,” due to his trust in Ivette. One of the other team is going to be gone after this weekend. That makes it 5 – 3. When it comes time for the next HoH competition, your team will be at a 5 – 2 disadvantage for the competition, as you won’t be allowed to compete. I’m not saying that makes it impossible, but it does make it fairly likely that you’ll be down 5 – 2 after the next eviction. And guess what? It’s not Rachel everyone else in the house is mad at. It’s you and Howie, for acting like obnoxious drunks and second graders. I don’t think you’re going to convince April or Jennifer — who you almost had swayed to your side just a couple of weeks ago — that Rachel should be booted for being too quiet next week.

Enjoy the victory. It is short-lived.

-Augie

Seriously, is there anyone left in the house to like? I used to like Howie until this episode. Sure, he’s loutish and a baboon, but he was never obnoxious like this before. Kaysar is playing the classic loser game in boasting about his pride and dignity after appearing on a reality show and losing it TWICE. Appearing in studio with Julie on an eviction week episode three weeks in a row, Kaysar? That’s just sad. Eric went bonkers when he was nominated. Maggie and Ivette have shown a little too much of the Cappie love, though I love it when Maggie plays quiet and everyone else makes up their mind about what she’s thinking. Beau is nasty when drunk. Janelle is the uberbitch of the series, making illogical and nonsensical points before basking in what she perceives to be her own brilliance, with smug satisfaction. April cries because someone calls her dog fat or something.

James is looking like The Man of the House right now, just for keeping his own company so well.

Stay tuned this weekend. This stuff is just heating up.