New releases, 30 August 2005

Welcome to the longest free form DVD release list ever. The comment-free release list can be found at DVDJournal.com.

* Backyardigans: It’s Great to Be a Ghost

Liars.

* Blue Ice (1992)

Better than yellow ice.

* The Blues Brothers: 25th Anniversary Edition (2-disc set) (1980)

The first movie to feature a dead fat cokehead.

* Britney & Kevin: Chaotic

Six episodes of pure train wreck.

* Clueless: The Whatever Edition (1995)

Whatever, indeed.

* Corvette Summer (1978)

I had a great summer once with a Ford Festiva, but nobody offered me a movie deal.

* Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season Four (2-disc set)

I’m still on season one, but it’s a very funny show.

* Curly Top (1935)

Use a hair straightener.

* Dance with Death (1991)

Just don’t step on her toes –

* Dead Silence (1995)

– because this would be the result.

* Doomsday Gun (1994)

Go fig – we do need gun control.

* Eleanor & Franklin: The Early Years

I’m waiting for the sequel of John and Teresa: The Early Years. The ketchup product placement in the kitchen scenes might be distracting, though.

* Fairly OddParents: Scary Godparents

That’s what my goddaughter thinks of me, actually.

* Fathers and Sons (2005)

Better than “Fathers and Son.”

* Fire and Ice (1983)

A movie inspired by Frazetta, as I recall.

* Garfield and Friends: Vol. 4 (3-disc set)

Nothing snarky here. Buy it. “Picnic Panic” comes to DVD, at last.

* Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay (1971)

Natalie Hollowell is one of them now.

* Heidi (1937)

Sorry, can’t watch it. There’s a Jets game on.

What? Wrong HEIDI? Crap.

* Hero at Large (1980)

But he’s going on Celebrity Fit Club’s next season, so he won’t be for long.

* The Hidden/The Hidden 2 (1987/1994)

I guess they finally found it, since there’s no HIDDEN 3.

* House: Season One (3-disc set)

Next season, it finally becomes a home.

* I Was a Zombie for the FBI (1982)

Best movie title of the week.

* Justice (2004)

Peace.

* Land of the Lost: Stak Attack

This should be an obvious punchline, but I don’t have one.

* Lilo & Stitch 2 (2005)

Another Disney direct-to-video cheap crappy sequel, no doubt.

I’m only half way through the list and I’m so tired. . .

* Loving Couples (1980)

I can’t believe any two actors from Hollywood could play the title role convincingly.

* Mind of the Married Man: Season One (2-disc set)

I confused this with another show during the podcast this week, so just ignore my comments there.

* Mistrial (1996)

Not for long. Soon, she’ll marry Bob and be Mrs. Trial. (No, that doesn’t make sense. Just keep moving.)

* Monster-in-Law (2005)

A PERFECT role for Jane Fonda.

* The Morning After (1986)

Lots of throwing up, if it involved Jane Fonda.

* Nip/Tuck: Season Two (6-disc set)

Lots of you like it. Here you have it.

* One Last Dance (2003) I was at a wedding this past week where the CD skipped and the DJ ended the reception on the last song. True story.

* Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior (2003)

I need this movie. I also need time to watch it.

* Pete Best: Best of the Beatles

If the fifth Beatle was the best Beatle, then Ringo must really suck.

* Pirates of Silicon Valley (1999)

Arrrr! Avast, ye OSes!

* The Purifiers (2004)

A movie about Cuisinarts.

* Rollover (1981)

Sit. Good boy!

* Roseanne: Season One (4-disc set)

No thanks.

* Sahara (2005)

That reminds me — I’m thirsty.

* School of the Holy Beast (Seiju gakuen) (2005)

In other words: High school.

* Schultze Gets the Blues (2005)

But the doctor gave him new meds, so it should clear up soon.

* Secrets of a Call Girl (Anna, quel particolare piacere) (1973) * The Sensuous Nurse (L’infermiera) (1975) * The Shirley Temple Collection: Vol. 1 (3-disc set)

That’s just an odd trilogy of titles to show up in a row like that, don’tcha think?

* Shot Through the Heart (1998)

And you’re too late. You give love a bad name.

* Strapped (1993)

Maybe this belongs up there with THE SENSUOUS NURSE.

* Strawberry Shortcake: Moonlight Mysteries

The butler did it.

* Street Trash (1987)

Litterbugs!

* Tommy Boy: Holy Schnike Edition (1995)

Our second dead fat cokehead of the week.

* Twelfth Night (1996)

But on the 13th, he rested his noodly appendages.

* Walk on Water (2004)

No, thanks. I did that last night. A good magician never repeats his tricks. A good hooker, on the other hand. . . (Really, I try to keep this blog G-rated, but sometimes I have to go for it.)

* Water Under the Bridge (2003)

Unless it’s in New Orleans right now, that’s likely where the water is.

* Warm Springs (2005)

I doubt even the IMDB would remember this movie. Oh, wait, it was a TV movie. All bets are off.

* Wild Life

Great TALKING HEADS song.

* The Winter Guest (1997)

Mr. Frosty? But he always melts in the end. . .

* Wise Guys (1986)

For my birthday, they brought me gold, frankincense, and myrrh. (Remember what I said above about walking on water? Get it?)

I’m tired. Next week’s release list is longer, and includes BUFFALO BILL (Seasons 1 and 2), CRASH, FRAGGLE ROCK!!!! That’s all I need to say. See you then!

This entry was posted on August 30th, 2005 and is filed under DVD. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.