I originally had intended to LiveBlog tonight’s episode of American Idol. Unfortunately for this site, ever-changing schedules prevented that from happening. However, I thought I’d provide you with an early peek at tonight’s episode and how my LiveBlog would no doubt have looked, had I been posting to it as I watched the show.

8:01: Ryan Seacrest is a tool.
8:02: I’m so used to watching this on TiVo, I can’t remember the last time I actually watched the opening credits.
8:03: Ah, our old friend the Red Room.
8:05: Goody, a video diary of the journey so far.
8:10: Hey, the first singer might actually be performing shortly.
8:10:10: “After the break.”
8:13: Oh, it’s her. She’s only here because she’s pretty. She can’t sing. But she’ll make the final twelve. Just look at her.
8:30: I was wondering how they’d stretch twelve songs into two hours, but that’s only because I forgot about these pre-packaged video clip presentations before each song. Every contestant loves Mom, God, and apple pie. Please vote for them.
8:33: Simon is mean, but he’s so right. Paula tries to be nice, but even she can’t hide the disgust on her face.
8:45: Yes! Our first Crash and Burn!
9:00: Halfway there, and Ryan’s t-shirt is really starting to fade under all the lights. Man, those vintage shirts don’t hold up well on camera, do they?
9:02: I didn’t think I’d hear anyone sing THAT song this year. She sounded OK, but will she be able to pull off the country themed night?
9:10: I thought Whitney Houston songs were banned from competition now? I can only hope we don’t hear more Mariah Carey or Alicia Keyes songs nexxt.
9:20: Didn’t recognize that song at all. I’m so out of touch.
9:28: I don’t care what she tells Ryan here, she knows she’s toast this week. And stop sucking up to the home audience!
9:30: Dear god, why did she wear that?!? She doesn’t have the body to pull that off. And to top it all off with Ugg boots? UGH
9:40: Is it almost over yet? 24 hours ago, Jack Bauer had killed a half dozen people, knocked out his friend, stolen a car, and shot down a helicopter. On AI5, they can’t get through 10 singers in an hour and a half.
9:50: Almost there.
9:54: So many phone numbers to remember, so little time. I’m not going to vote for any of them. None of them pulled a LaToya London enough to be memorable.
9:55: And there are the boys we’ll be seeing tomorrow. Like anyone has a doubt that Ace will make it to the Top 12 already. He doesn’t need to sing.
10:00: Finally, I can stop typing. Whew, that was tiring. I never want to watch commercials again for the rest of my life.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 21st, 2006 at 6:00 pm and is filed under American Idol. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.