Rock Star: Supernova – Week Five

We’re down to 11 rockers, which means this write-up might actually fall under the 1,000 word limit of my patience for it.

Or maybe not. There’s a lot to talk about in these 11 performances.

Patrice began the night with the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ version of “Higher Ground,” accompanied by Tommy Lee on drums. How cute – their tattoos practically match! Even with all the black on and the mohawk, I still don’t buy her as a rocker. She’s still playing dress up to me. She’s got a good voice and decent stage presence, but this isn’t the show for her. I also thought she treated the song too much like a duet between herself and Tommy. It’s nice to spotlight him, but stop ignoring the rest of the band, and start remembering that YOU are the star of this show right now.

Josh did “Santeria” by Sublime. Appropriately, the House Band’s drummer had a Bob Marley-esque knit cap on for the show. It was a nice performance and showed even more range for the singer who would be a rocker. (I think he’s the first on this series to do a human beat box bit.) Is it right for the band, though? I don’t know, but I would listen to him if he recorded something of his own.

He apologized for missing the opening, but I didn’t hear that. I guess he’s better than he thinks.

Dilana is still the star of the show, this time with “Can’t Get Enough” by Bad Company. You know she has to smoke A LOT to get a voice that gravelly. The band picked up on her blatant attempt to “front” the band, by singing a chunk of the song over on the dais in front of them. And then she “crowd-surfed” on someone’s shoulders back to the stage. (No doubt he’s with security.) She’s always fun to watch each week. She switches things up. She’s got a great voice. If the band wants to have a chick fronting them, then she’s their chick.

Toby sang Yet Another Nirvana song, “Pennyroyal Theater.” Does ROCKSTAR get a bulk discount for licensing Nirvana songs? As usual with Nirvana songs, it does nothing for me. His performance seems solid enough, though, and the band liked it. That’s all that counts, isn’t it?

I’m just not sure I completely bought the look this week — like a scrawny emo goth teenage punk thing. Weird.

Zayra gave the laugh-out-loud funniest performance ever to be seen on reality TV. I laughed all the way through it and then all the way through the judges’ comments. The band needed a commercial break to figure it out. In fact, Dave Navarro’s exact words were, “I’m going to need to a minute to process what I just saw.”

It started with an odd song, Tommy Tutone’s “867-5309/Jenny.” Zayra came out dressed up like some weird superhero, complete with boots, gloves, cape, leotard, and fishnets. She pranced around on stage like a thing possessed. Her voice was as awful as usual. The arrangement was weird.

She took the song too seriously, I think. When given a song like this, you have to have FUN with it. She tried to make it into a serious rock song with a slightly campy flair. That didn’t work. When Marty Casey drew “Hit Me Baby One More Time” last year, he nailed it by committing to a dark version of it that fit his personality and that turned out to be a lot of fun. Zayra failed to do that.

After the commercial break, the band explained exactly why she’s lasted as long as she has: She sucks, but she’s entertaining. You have to read between the lines, but that’s about what they said. I’m with them, though — I hope they keep her around. She’s so awful she gives me something to write about.

Thank goodness for YouTube. I can show you how bad it was, complete with judges’ commentary:

CLASSIC! I hope YouTube doesn’t pull the video down anytime soon. I don’t want to have to buy a new cell phone to watch the VCast of it in the future.

Magni did ColdPlay’s “Clocks,” which I thought was too karaoke. The band loved it, loved him, and are flying in his family.

I thought his biggest failing was in the middle of the mellow song when he screamed, “MAKE SOME NOISE!” Classic IDOL problem — if you want the crowd to make some noise or sing along or sway their arms, give them a performance that inspires them to do so. Don’t give them instructions.

Jill did Simple Minds’ “Don’t You Forget About Me” and completely crashed and burned. I think the band will kick her out this week for that travesty of justice. She screamed her way through it, and showed no musicality along the way. There was a lot of posturing and hands pumping in the air, but that was it. For the second week in a row, Gilby brought down the hammer: “You’re better than that.”

I’m not so sure she is, anymore.

Ryan stole the show, though, with a solo piano performance of R.E.M.’s “Losing My Religion.” I think there was a guitar off stage in the background somewhere, but it was very soft. The overall effect was electric (ironic). It was a GREAT choice of music, arrangement, and performance. He showed all the musicality that Jill lacked.

I’m a sucker for piano stuff, but the band was quickly on its feet for him, and I have to think this will be the encore tonight. Lukas looked pained and jealous when Tommy Lee said he could imagine Ryan singing one of the band’s songs based on that performance.

Lukas then turned his back to the crowd and did Hole’s “Celebrity Skin.” Again, it’s a song I don’t care for. But his performance was below par. It was painful. He literally spent half of the song — including the ending — with his back to the audience, singing to the drummer. He said it was because he had troubles with the lyrics. It was a very bad night for him.

I noticed this week, too, that his face looks like a cartoon character’s. It’s very exaggerated and limber. His voice is still throttled, though, but I notice the band has given up pointing that out to him.

Storm did David Bowie’s “Changes,” which will be a close runner up for the encore tonight. Maybe they’ll do two. She gave a strong performance, particularly in the opening and closing, when it’s mostly her alone in the spotlight doing the song. It looked a little Broadway in those segments, but she kept it dialed back. He voice was clear and strong. The audience really liked the number. The band liked her a lot, too.

Dana is the perfect bookend for the show. Like Patrice, she doesn’t seem like a natural rocker. She should be doing something else, but she dresses up and tries to do the rock star bit for this show. She even gleefully announced last night that she’s going for her first tattoo today. Whoo!

She sang The Who’s “Baba O’Riley,” which is probably best known today for being the theme song for one of those CSI shows. (Hey, we haven’t added to the CSI franchise in a couple of years. What’s going on, CBS?) I think she’s overcompensating now, trying to look mean and angry and all “rawk.” But I don’t buy it. She also is starting to look like Lisa Marie Presley. Bizarre.

The early bottom three is Toby, Zayra, and Jill. I’m surprised to see Toby in there, but I think that’ll level off overnight. I think the band has had it with Jill and she’ll be out tonight. Zayra will definitely join her in the bottom three. I think Lukas might me down there also tonight. It’ll be good to give the little punk a scare!

We still have some dead wood to cut out of the show, but we’re starting to get more stronger performances each week, and very memorable ones, at that.

Final word count: 1300 words. I blame Zayra.

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