You ever have one of those really really bad weeks where everything goes wrong, and just when you think things couldn’t go worse, you break a glass and a shard of it lands in your bald friend’s head?
Yeah, Dilana just had one of those spectacular flameouts that are custom-made for reality television. Even Danielle’s drunken whining/doorbell buzzing incident on Big Brother last night can’t compare to this one.
But then she apologizes, Dave Navarro asks that we all put it behind ourselves (until he brings it up ad nauseum again after her performance), and we move on.
It’s Viewers Choice Week! In other words, the fans choose the worst possible songs for the people they hate, and the best for those they love.
And the results are spectacular. I think this is the strongest show of the season. Everyone brought something interesting and memorable to their performance last night.
Lukas did Nirvana’s “Lithium,” because it wouldn’t be an episode of this series without at least one Nirvana song. I think Mark Burnett is contractually obligated to Courtney Love for that. I liked the new arrangement of the song, particularly the softer opening and dramatic pause before launching into the screaming and whatnot. It was so good that even Dilana forced herself into giving a standing ovation to the man that she said she wants to choke on a daily basis. (I’m sorry, was I supposed to put that behind me already?)
Dave Navarro telegraphs all his twists. He’s awful at surprising the audience with his little reversals. “You took a classic Nirvana song and rearranged it?!?” Yeah, like we didn’t know that was the set-up to, “AWESOME!” (I’m paraphrasing.)
Since we’re down to six singers now, we get lots of background material leading into the song. As a chronicler of this series, I appreciate the rest this gives my hand. I’m sure others are less excited about less singing and more pre-taped packages. Ah, well. Lukas worked at Hooters and wears more makeup than people, often dressing up in a tie and jacket while lounging around the house in front of the cameras. That’s what we learned last night.
Magni was given “I Alone” by Live. Yes, the songs the fans had to choose from were all songs previously sung by others in the series. Again, I hope the man sees a specialist when this show is done, because that vein in his right forehead is going to pop someday if it’s not treated. That would make for spectacular television, but I’m not so sure it’s healthy for him. He’s lucky the broken shard from Dilana’s thrown glass missed that part of his head. (Oops, sorry. I’m putting that behind me again. . . )
The song started out OK, but he got more into it the further it went along, and walking through the crowd to the band to sing on their dais worked well. (Lots of people try it – thankfully, he pulled it off.) The only problem is that it led to a slightly weak ending. The song ended as he was brushing through people back to the stage. I would have liked a stronger exclamation point. Otherwise, it was memorable.
In his pre-taped bit, Magni was very funny, saying that he knew he had to campaign for votes and appealing to every country for their calls. “America — I learned your language” cracked me up.
We’re down to six singers, yet this writeup will still be 1000 words, won’t it?
Ryan got ColdPlay’s “Clocks.” The man proved just how far off his rocker he is last night, and I loved every minute of it. He started off at the piano solo, which worried me a bit. I thought he was going to try to repeat his success with the REM song a few weeks back. I shouldn’t have. As the band came in, he lept on top of the piano, pulled the wired mic with him and proceeded to prance around the piano and the stage like a man possessed. It was manic and strong. The return to the piano near the end was great, too. He does have a tendency to overscream in spots, sounding like he was just stabbed, rather than aiming for a note. But I can forgive him that.
Jason wasn’t quite as impressed, saying that he “lost the plot” when Ryan left the piano. Can’t please them all, but it is something to be worried about. The band has some tough decisions to make in these last couple of weeks, and any excuse to dump someone is a good one now.
Speaking of which, the finale is in two weeks. The final show has three singers, if it’s anything like last year. That means either this week or next will have to be a double elimination.
Storm got screwed by the fans with Evanescence’s “Bring Me To Life.” Her voice is all wrong for that song by a few octaves. To her credit, she did a respectable job with it. She hit the notes she needed to hit and shied away from the ones that would only embarrass her. Plus, she did the brilliant move of bringing Toby up with her to do all the background bits for the song. Toby looked very comfortable up there, giving it his hip hop all. The band thought he stole some of the spotlight from her, but I think she needed him to. That little distraction kept them away from criticizing the voice on a song not made for it, plus gave the number some extra energy that it really needed. (It reminded me a lot of CELEBRITY DUETS last night like that, but that’s a whole ‘nother post later today. . .)
On the other hand, it was Jill and Zayra who sang this song previously. Storm should have had a cakewalk last night if you’re comparing her voice to Zayra’s.
Toby followed that up solo with “Rebel Yell” from Billy Idol. I wasn’t sure at first it was going to be anything more than Toby doing karaoke with an Elvis accent. And I was a bit distracted to see Lukas licking the air in the general direction of Toby at one point. But, then, it looked like Toby raided Lukas’ makeup kit a little bit last night.
In any case, the song went into overdrive in the second half. Not only did Toby get the audience to sing along with him and pump their fists in time, but then he did the “rawk star” move of getting a bunch of the chicks in the front row to come up on stage and dance behind him. Some sported “EVS” written on the palms of their hands, which Toby had across his chest a couple of weeks back. They know who to butter up. . .
Dilana finished up the night. Hey, did you know she had a bad week and was looking to put it all behind her? Just wanted to make sure you hadn’t put it behind you just yet. The package set that up for us all again.
She got Tracy Bonham’s “Mother Mother,” a song I really didn’t get the last time I heard it. Dilana sold it to me, though, being appropriately angry and emotional. (She had a bad week, you know.) She played with the electric guitar. She sang on top of a speaker. She sang with one leg over the bassist’s shoulder. She did a great job at headbanging, which her hair really sold. She was, in a phrase, properly possessed for this song.
And it all ended with a head butt of the mic. Wonderful.
Now, in case you hadn’t realized it, Dilana had a bad week. And Dave was happy enough to bring it back up again so we could put it behind us. As did Tommy Lee. As did Gilby. Brooke sounded like she was over it, though, and had put it behind her.
It’s behind us now. At least, it’s behind us until they dredge it all up again tonight on the results show.
In the end, Storm was the only contestant of the night who might be called weak, but that’s purely a function of being handed a song that was wildly inappropriate for her voice. Dilana could be in trouble for being rude to her fellow contestants. Ryan could be in trouble for losing the plot. Magni could be in trouble if he lands in the bottom three too often. I think Toby and Lukas are safe this week, though.
On the other hand, early voting puts Storm, Ryan, and Lukas in the bottom three. We’ll see tonight. . .
1300+ words. De Blieck Out!