Various observations from some of the TV I saw this past week:
GILMORE GIRLS: They certainly do talk a lot, don’t they? The problem is, they’re not having dialogues. Most of the script is spent with one person giving a speech before pausing for a breath while the next person gives theirs. And, ultimately, they’re all going in circles. None of it moves the plot along. I don’t need two minutes of time spent discussing racquet ball for no reason, thanks. Just get to the point, already!
AMAZING RACE: Quick hint for all future teams who want to do this race: Always know where you’re going before you get there. Even better, know where you’re going before you leave. I think I have to root for the Indian team, just because the guy wore a MacGyver shirt on the first day of the race.
DANCING WITH THE STARS: Jerry Springer is George Hamilton, minus the tan. Tom Bergeron is one of the quickest wits on live television. And I don’t know how Sarah Evans stayed in her top, or how Willa Ford can walk — let alone dance — in those heels. And, yeah, that Lawrence kid may have more muscles than I’ll ever have, but I still have my hair! Most of it, anyway. . .
AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL: It’s inevitable: The “conservative” (Southern, young, Bible Belt contestant) will be asked to strip for the camera. The long-haired girl will be asked to cut all her hair off. And someone will hog the house phone.
LAGUNA BEACH: “Like, like, like, like, like, like.” Oh, and it’s just “Formal” now, and not “The Formal.” Just like “Prom.” UGH I can’t wait for that reunion special five years from now when they look at themselves and realize just how bizarrely stupid those bug-eyed oversized sunglasses look.
BIGGEST LOSER: Not watching it. I can’t commit to a two hour episode every week. Is NBC crazy?