Dick Clark’s Rocking New Year’s Eve is a great show to watch if you have the power of a fast-forward button and a TiVo. You wouldn’t want to stay up until 2:00 a.m. to watch the mix of musical guests, but if you could fast-forward through it a day or two later, you can cherry pick the songs you watch and get a much better show. For my money, I lingered only on K.T. Tunstall, Natasha Bedingfield, and Meat Loaf.

Bat Out Of Hell IIIMeat Loaf was a particularly interesting case for me. He had three songs on the show, one from each of the Bat Out of Hell albums. They suffer, as they always do on television, from having to be so horribly butchered to fit into the restrictive time format. The Cliffs Notes version of “I Would Do Anything For Love” was barely recognizable. I caught a movement or two in there, but it would always change back up to something a page or two later on the sheet music for time. I’ve heard “Paradise By The Dashboard Light” so many times by now that it doesn’t excite me anymore. And I thought “Blind As A Bat” was an interesting choice for the third song. I thought for sure they’d go with the more standard “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now.” I was happy to hear something newer, though.

But there were a couple of problems with the performances, as there are with the album. Most notably, Patti Russo is gone as Meat Loaf’s long-time singing companion. She’d been around for a good 15 or 20 years, with the musical chops to hold her own on stage with the loud and deep voice of the Loaf. Her replacement is Aspen Miller, a little wisp of a thing who looks about 18 years old and generally gives you the creeps when Meat Loaf has to swoon over her in “Paradise.” She’s likely a fine singer on her own, but she’s hopelessly outclassed on stage by Meat Loaf. You couldn’t hear her half the time over the background singers, for goodness’ sake. It just goes to show you how good Russo was. She held the stage on her own. Even when she appeared to over-emote — as Meat Loaf does throughout 90% of his live stage act — she fit right in. Miller, though, couldn’t hold a candle to it.

Meat Loaf - Live with the Melbourne Symphony OrchestraAnd, yeah, Meat Loaf was slightly shaky. Blame his stage fright. Blame the TV cameras. Blame the fact that 12 minute songs had to be compressed down to an uncomfortable four minute arrangement. Blame the fact that the guy is turning 60 this year and still singing songs he recorded 30 years ago. But when you look at him a couple of years ago singing live in Australia with the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra with the full arrangement of the songs, he seems perfectly comfortable and his voice sounds a lot better.

TV has to be done for publicity’s sake, I understand. But it’s not always the right venue for everyone. What Meat Loaf needs to do to publicize Bat Out Of Hell III is a (video or audio) podcast of some sort, where he can be comfortable on his own terms without the time pressures. TV — live or pre-recorded — isn’t helping him anymore.

On the other hand, it’s likely just time to give up the ghost. It’s one thing to sing folk songs at the age of 60. Heck, singing rock and roll can still be done to a certain degree. But singing the kind of powerful operatic rock that Meat Loaf needs to do is not something that the muscles are built to do forever. Meat Loaf always says he’s retiring and always comes back with “one more album.” Maybe it’s time to stick to acting, and preferably not in Uwe Boll movies. More FIGHT CLUB, less BLOODRAYNE.

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