Or, the week we say farewell to Phil Stacey. Didn’t matter how well he did last night. He’s been in the bottom three often enough to know that this is the cowboy’s last ride on this particular horse — at least until the finale night reunion and the subsequent tour.

It was country night, so Martina McBride (with gray eyes?) showed up to learn the contestants a thing or two about this here singing thing.

Phil Stacey opened the show. Like he needed any help in getting kicked off the show, he wound up in the most forgettable slot of the night. He did a good job with “Where The Blacktop Ends,” though. He may have worked a bit too hard in connecting with the audience, though, as his walk through the crowd included hand shakes, half-hugs, and lots of pointing. Contrast that to Chris Sligh, who once sang as he walked through the crowd and never noticed there were people there.

The judges loved him, he sounded fine, and I’m happy that Phil got his grand farewell.

Jordin Sparks sang McBride’s “Broken Wing.” While she looked horrendous, she sounded great. McBride told her to plant her feet and sing the song. Jordin may have taken that a step too far, but you can’t argue with the performance - the slow burn into a frenzy of big notes at the end was great. I think she might have been better with a mic stand, though, and a little more gesticulation, but wow. She can sing. She reminded me of Kelly Clarkson in many ways last night - that big voice, that loooooong note at the end, and the cute smile afterwards. She’s having fun up there.

Sadly, the red garbage bag she wore for a dress didn’t do her any favors, and the lighting during the song bounced red off her face, making it look like she went to Dolly Parton’s rouge collection for makeup help.

Despite all that, Simon said he believes Jordin can win this thing. So do I.

Sanjaya Malakar sang “Let’s Give ‘Em Something To Talk About.” I laughed the whole way through. Every lyric takes on a new meaning when it’s so weakly sung by Sanjaya and his horrible hairdo du jour. This week, it was a handkerchief over his long curly afro-like Southern Boy hair. It was spectacularly awful, as is everything he does. He cannot be allowed to win the show, but he’s spectacularly entertaining to watch. I’m starting to feel really bad for him again, though. I sometimes think he just doesn’t get it - this isn’t an act. This isn’t a comedy show. People really do recognize that he’s not that talented. Sure, he could do a song and dance routine at a Six Flag with A.J. Day, but that’s about it. And he’d need a lot of dance lessons. He’s so hesitant with them right now, and never moves his elbows from their pinned locations at his sides.

Paula could only call him “a lovable guy.” Simon and Randy have clearly had enough of him. Simon called the performance “utterly horrendous” and said something along the lines of, “I know this has been funny for a while, but. . .”

ouch

LaKisha Jones is slipping. She chose Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus Take The Wheel,” which had some personal resonance for her. I’m glad she could connect with the song, but it didn’t suit her voice at all. And she did little to make it her own. And, yes, she sounded shouty. I had that in my notes before Paula said it. She might make the bottom three this week, based on that performance.

Chris Richardson sang a Rascall Flatts song, and it wasn’t about any broken roads, thank goodness. It was “Mayberry,” which I didn’t recognize at all, besides being a dull and repetitive tune. Chris was boring and nasally and flat throughout it. I admit it - I just don’t get him.

Chris didn’t make it any better when talking after the judges’ comments. He tried to make the case that “nasally” is a form of singing, and began digging a hole halfway to China with his “logic.” When Simon called him on that stupidity, you could actually see the gears in Chris’ head start turning, and that’s when he quickly brought up the Virginia Tech thing.

Now, he might very well have wanted to say something in his twenty seconds of time going into the night. But his timing couldn’t have been worse. He was in the middle of a disagreement with Simon, and the second he was losing it (badly), he changed to VT, which looked an awful lot like a deflection. Even Simon saw that and rolled his eyes, and now people who didn’t watch the show or see how that went down are upset over it. Simon tried to do some damage control later in the show, but that came off weak and too unscripted.

It’s been a while since we had a good controversy, though, hasn’t it?

Final performances, predictions, and random thoughts — after the break:

Melinda Doolittle is possibly the greatest performer in IDOL history. Does it matter what she sang? We all know she did it well, emoting throughout, and strutting around the stage like she owned it, all the while never missing a note. That’s Melinda.

OK, so she sang, “Trouble Is A Woman.” And she sold it.

So, some random thoughts:

• Did you see Nigel in the crowd, sitting just to the left of Simon, as usual? Did you see the big bruiser sitting behind him in the bright blue shirt, with the ugly mustache. He’s security. You could see the ear piece on a couple of shots.
• Every contestant got at least two hugs from Martina McBride, judging from all the video packages.
• The David Mamet Ford commercial was awesome. He didn’t write it, but it’s perfectly in his style. He made two: Faster than a Beemer, and Quieter Than A Lexus. I saw the first one last night. Don’t know if they showed the other one during the show or not.
• With the way they’re editing AMERICAN IDOL REWIND, we’ll never get to hear Ryan say “Seacrest Out, ” will we?  Pity.

Blake Lewis finished up the night with “When The Stars Go Blue.” Not my favorite song, but it worked for him. He knows his range and he uses it well. He’s a very smooth singer, and he even found a spot or two to do his usual spinning moves on stage. He might have been a little strained at the top of the power notes, but he’s smart enough to know not to push it past where the strain starts. Like Gwen Stefani said, you don’t need to be a power singer to win this competition. And Blake is the best male singer on the show right now.

To rank them all: Melinda and Jordin tie for the night at the very tippy top. Blake is next, followed closely by Phil. LaKisha is after that, before Chris and Sanjaya bring up the rear. Honestly, you could put either of those two in the basement and it wouldn’t bother me.

The bottom three this week will be Chris, Phil, and LaKisha, prompting much booing and hissing from the crowd. LaKisha will be the first declared safe, and Phil goes home. Chris goes home next week, and Sanjaya also shows up in the Bottom Three.

De Blieck Out!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 18th, 2007 at 8:59 am and is filed under American Idol. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.