Nobody is ever doing any photocopying — until I approach with a paper in my hand I need a copy of. Then, there’s a line.

I’ll always get a close parking spot in the morning when I’m running early and have time to kill, and a further away spot after lunch when I want to get on the road quicker, or need to get back in the building sooner.

The air conditioner never stops. On the bright side, I never need to worry about my bottle of soda going cold, even if I nurse it for eight hours. Just leave it on the desk under the a/c vent and I’m good to go!

Half the meetings in the conference room across the hall from my desk end in after-meeting meetings right outside my door. Just what I wanted to hear. . .

That guy running up my heels as your walking down the hall? He’s going to turn into the bathroom with me.

My break for the front door of the building at the end of the day will run smoothly, until halfway there when someone turns a corner out of the hall in front of me and is too busy talking on the cell phone to realize there’s anyone else walking around.

That’ll be the same person who gets to the exit and can’t find his or her badge to swipe themselves out.

And you just know it’s the same person who digs in the bottom of her purse for the exact change at the 10 Items or Less lane at the supermarket.

There are a dozen empty visitor spots right next to the front door every day, and I’m parked on the far corner of the roof.

The fax machine I’m stuff using will max out at 9600 baud, when the receiving fax works at 14.4 or 28.8, no doubt.