American Idol 7 – Best of the Rest

American Idol logoIt’s a clips show time! But at least they’re people we haven’t seen before. Give ’em credit for that. That’s the problem with going to seven cities when you have eight time slots to fill. Hopefully, this will give somebody in the Top 24 a chance at being known before they show up in the Hollywood shows next week.

Luke Reeder attempted to do “Faith” in a pseudo gangsta rap style, complete with one of those white t-shirts that goes down to the knees. Don’t know what the hat with the ear flaps was for, though.  He’s out. Amy Davis was the first good one of the show. She’s doing it for the family — she’s Yet Another One who comes from a poor family. Half the auditioners have that. She has big boobs. Randy and Simon are praying she can sing.

Whew. She can. A little strained, but doable. Simon’s eyes keep darting from her face to her chest and up.

Tiffany McCambell (spell checker does backflips again) — yawn — sings in her church choir. But you know it won’t be pretty going solo. Ooh, she does scales that suck.

I think I’m sick of IDOL picking on deluded contestants who reference God. It’s getting old, and it’s rather cheap at this point.

I’m not familiar with this version of “Hallelujah.” It’s not Leonard Cohen’s, sadly. It’s a spiritual tune of some sort that I’m not sure I’d recognize if I knew it. She sings that poorly.

“Does He have a returns policy?” Simon asked. She takes the rejection well, at least.

Ashley is the chick with the dog they showed in commercials once upon a time. As it turns out, she’s dating twins. At the same time.  I think.  The whole thing is terribly convoluted.  She’s got the endless smile of the beauty pageant queen from last night. She might be just as annoying, too.

Cory and Chris Lane are challenging the obnoxious Brittanum twins from last season.  They even dedicate an original ditty to them. It’s a White Boy Rap. God save us all. What the hell?!?  They’re out. Ashley Lawing brought her purse dog with her. The judges are dog-sitting. She’s peppy. Simons pays more attention to the dog, and for good reason. He calls her audition excruciating and torture — but smiles his way through it. It’s all so rather charming.

As it turns out, the twin boys set her up. They told her she’s good, when they know she stinks.

“I love you, Simon.”

“I know.”

I’m glad Simon has a pat answer to that now. It’s funny.

Cardin Lee McKinney is next. She’s cute. But she insists on singing a song from DREAMGIRLS. I’m sick of that movie’s songs already, and she’s only the third or so to sing it. She’s not bad. She’s through.

JoAnne Borgella sang at MSG and comes from New Jersey. I’m ready to put her through based on that alone. But she’s also a Plus Sized model. And she can blow, as Randy hasn’t said this season all that much.

Alesha Stelzl has a voice that she says is different, not like anybody else. Uh oh. You know she’s trouble. Being Canadian can’t save her. She hit a heck of an off-key power note. DESTROYED! No, wait. They told her to come back with a Dolly Parton song. This could get interesting. Ryan singing one is a bit absurd, though.

She went with “Islands In The Stream.” Who will play Kenny Rogers? Doesn’t matter. She picked the wrong song. And she learned it off YouTube. Uh Oh Part Two.

Wait, she doesn’t sound horrible. Holy cow. She’s actually decent. Her mouth does funny things, though.

And she’s through. Wow. I doubt she’ll last long, though. And she had better stay away from Celine Dion songs.

That’s a miracle, still. “I hate to admit it; you were right. I was really disappointed. That wasn’t the ending I wanted.” -Simon to Paula.

Then the potty-mouthed rocker came through.  “Did he just say f&^%?” -Simon

Joshua Moreland, a/k/a Jay Smoove went with a trick from American Juniors, tossing confetti out of his hands at just the right moment. Hey, it worked for that kid. Of course, he was about 10 years old or so. Jay Smoove isn’t that young.

Crap, he can sing. It’s a joke of a performance and an awful song with too many runs that the judges won’t be able to get past, I’m sure. He shot himself in the foot.

No. DESTROYED!!!

And now Simon sweeps up the confetti, giving us a view of the entire room normally never seen. There must be a dozen people sitting over there watching the auditions. I wish someone would do a full behind-the-scenes special on the logistics of putting together an audition show, from cattle call to final edits. I’m such a process junkie, though.

Montage time — Simon can’t pronounce crazy names, nor can he say obvious ones.

Chikezie Eze came back for a second go-around. Randy wasn’t feeling him last year. This year, he’s pretty good. The falsetto isn’t as strong as he thinks it is. But he’s very good. Deserves to go through. And I know he does, because I remember seeing him at the end of a previous show walking out with a Golden Ticket. (Or am I creating memories from whole cloth, now?)

Hey, Randy Jackson is doing Diabetes commercials now. WHOO-HOO! Diabetics represent! I want to go watch his MTV dance crew show now, and root for the crew on rolling skates.

Danny Noriega — I remember him from last season. This season, it’s “Proud Mary.” He’s a little affected. The theatrics are a bit much for a skinny not-black boy. The judges liked it a lot more than I did, I think. It is a weird voice to come out of that scrawny body. And he’s through again.

THE END.

And the promos for Hollywood Hell Week always give me the chills.

Playing with instruments might be cool. Not sure I’d choose to sing and play drums, though. . . Is the next American Idol going to be a Phil Collins clone? Why is Homeless Boy crying? Who will break? Who will fall? Who will forget their lyrics but be given a second chance, anyway? Why is Simon walking away?

Next week, the fun begins!

2 thoughts on “American Idol 7 – Best of the Rest

  1. I think Luke Reeder was actually doing the Limp Bizkit version of “Faith”. I must say, I am worn out after all the audition shows. I’m at the point where I’d rather watch paint dry. Thank goodness next week is Hollywood week though!

  2. I’m also burned out on the auditions. Bring on Hollywood Week!!!

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