Thankfully, I’ll be typing this up as I watch the show. Let the record show that I hit PLAY on the DVR at 8:35ish. Let’s see where we wind up.
I understand the need for two hours, but it tires me out just thinking about it, already. It’s Guy Night tonight.
Ryan seems, I don’t know, more serious. More like a show host, and not just the goofball picked at random to host this show 6 years ago.
The guys just got introduced. I hate the look of the lot of them. Ick.
If they keep hammering home the “best talent ever” line, you just know half of them will fail miserably and start sounding like Sanjaya.
David Hernandez – “The Midnight Hour” – Strong almost-a capella start. Showed strong pipes there. Has a tendency to waver too much and want to DO SOMETHING with every note. That might get obnoxious quickly. Ooh, that last power night was off. But he should make it through.
Chikezie – He’s dumped the “Eze” last name, it would seem – Wow, they just rerouted traffic around Chikezie. No, wait, he chose to wear an orange suit. Weird. He’s trying to soul up this song, I guess. I like the poppier version more. Wish I knew the name of the dang thing. At least he tried something new, though it’s a bit dozey.
And now he’s talking back to Simon. Won’t shut up. He’s a loser. He’s overly defensive. Has he never watched this show before? He’s looking really bad right now, losing votes.
David Cook – “So Happy Together” – There’s something just weird about this guy. He looks creepy, honestly. What, is this the night of turning poppy songs into ballads? Oh, good, that was just the opening. Background singers are great on the harmony. He needs to open his eyes more. I don’t buy him as a rock singer. His performance just screamed cruise ship, I think. He can sing, but he’s still too weird for me.
Jason Yeager – “Moon River” – He’s 28 and has a son who’s great vote bait. Ooh, this song choice is not going to win him any votes this early in the competition. Simon will call him too old at the end here. Uh oh. He’s overacting. It’s too theatrical, but at least he’s paying attention to the lyrics when he acts it out. He’s in trouble. Shaking his head at the end there was all sorts of silly. Simon calls it “cruise ship,” which I think is appropriate. And his son needs a haircut.
Wow, Apple is sponsoring the heck out of this show. And performances will be available on iTunes, if you want to wildly overpay for them.
Robbie Carrico – “One” – This is Britney Spears’ ex. Her name got mentioned in the video package, but we’re glossing past that. He toured with her with his group, but that’s as far as we’re taking that right now. And now he’s singing a song that a contestant almost failed on in a recent “Don’t Forget The Lyrics” episode. I don’t think he’s pushing this hard enough to make it a rock song, though the guitars are a nice touch. He can sing, don’t get me wrong. I didn’t hear him taking any short cuts there, or cracking his voice. He even hit the falsetto. Good, but not quite yet there yet.
Confusingly, Simon questions if a rocker is really what Robbie is, but then Robbie says, “I’m definitely pop.” Hunh?!?
Update: My mistake. In rewatching this, I realized I misheard him. Robbie said he’s definitely NOT pop. It makes more sense when it’s correct like that. Nevermind.
David Archuleta – “You Better Shop Around” – Awkwardly young on stage. But the voice is amazing when it gets going. In the lower parts, he gets lost behind the background singers at times. One minor voice crack. Almost double clutched on that last note. Still, damned impressive for a 17 year old. And he’s so young that he’s going to get the teeny-bopper vote big time. He’s safe.
Simon thought it was the best of the night so far. And David is so gosh wow cute. And he plays up to the audience. He’s a giggler. Cute kid. How can you NOT love him? Ryan’s going to have a field day with him this season. I don’t see how he doesn’t make it to the Top 12.
Danny Noriega – “Jailhouse Rock” – I just have to say it — he’s far too effeminate to pull off this manly swaggering Elvis thing. And he’s dressed like an early-80s Brit Popper. And, honestly, this song doesn’t do his voice justice. It’s karaoke completely. That was, I’m sure Simon will put it, like something a kid dresses up to sing in front of his parents.
“Verging on grotesque,” says Simon. I agree.
Wow, Simon and Paula are still arguing. And arguing. . . And arguing. . . Guys, don’t you want to play the music and cut away from them yet? Anyone? HELLO!?!?
I’m still waiting for the first Jim Steinman song of the season. Maybe tomorrow night?
Luke Menard – Who’s he? – “Echoes of My Life”? – Looks like Hugh Jackman a little. Or maybe more like John Cassaday? Horrible song choice. I forget this song 3 seconds after it finishes playing on the store speakers in some horrible department store. I think he has a good voice, but the music is overpowering him here, he’s missing some notes, and everyone is bored silly by this one.
He has movie star good looks and then sang a miserably forgettable downbeat song. He blundered badly. Dare I say it? Yes, I do — CRASH AND BURN.
He thinks it was a good showcase and that people will remember him. He’s deluded, or just horribly naive.
Colton Berry – “Suspicious Minds” – He’s twitching too much on stage. Looks nervous. Tough to watch. But I like his voice, which was easier to focus on when you look away. It is a great song. I think it was a bit more “colorful” than Noriega’s Elvis tune. Colton played around with the melody a bit more. Simon called him, basically, forgettable. He’s just a good singing kid, but it’s not unique.
Garrett Haley – “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do” – Looks like Weird Al as a blond. Only 17 years old. Awful song choice. First half seemed on pitch, then things got a little tough for me. Even when the song shifts (finally) into second gear, he’s still stuck in First-And-A-Half. Yawn. When he’s on pitch, though, he’s got a very smooth voice. He looks like a rocker, and instead did Karaoke Sedaka, like a bad episode of GILMORE GIRLS.
Simon’s accent is starting to sound like an Animaniacs character. He’s vaguely Wakko now. Which Beatle is that voice based on again?
Only two more to go. They’re really starting to sag now.
But here comes the instrument!
Downloading these songs via iTunes is a major rip-off. Did I mention that yet? Remember, kids BitTorrent is bad. DVR is good. =)
Jason Castro – “What a Day for a Daydream” – Playing guitar. I kind of like the lilt to his voice. Needs to reach down a little further on those gravelly notes, but I like this song. I think he lost his way in the last couple of notes, but I liked it overall. I may be sappy, though. I like the British accent, especially with Josiah not being around.
Simon thought it was in the Top Two performances for the night. He’s right in saying that the song would have worked better without the band — just Jason and the guitar.
I think he’s the surprise of the night.
And at the last commercial break, I’ve caught up to the show airing live. Good timing!
Michael Johns – “Light My Fire” – Oldest contestant at 29. I’m not sure what to think. Is it shouty? It it pitch perfect? I’m still not sure with this guy. He seemed confident out there and hit most of the notes well. I just don’t like the song, I guess. The clip from his previous “Bohemian Rhapsody” was better than I remembered it, though. So there’s that, at least. I’m sure he’ll be a BIG favorite at water coolers tomorrow morning, though.
It just dawned on me: for the first time ever, you can text in your vote on your iPhone. If you do, I’m jealous of you.
So who SHOULD go home?
David H. is in trouble, just from going first. Jason Yeager is giving me high blood sugar in his final clip, but will his kid get him the extra votes he needs? Luke Menard was instantly forgettable in a very large field of 12 people. Colton might be in trouble from a lack of previous TV time. Garrett Haley has the same problem, coupled with a bad bad bad song choice.
Say goodbye to Garrett (who loses the youth vote to David A.) and Luke, who blew his big shot in a big way. He should have coasted into the second week. We’ll also see Jason in the bottom three.
And the show finished on time! Wait, this wasn’t live. Nevermind.
After showing the contestants for tomorrow’s show dancing like fools in front of the camera, Ryan looked off-stage and said, “Nigel, that reminds me of your show.”
That might just be your quote of the night.
De Blieck Out!