I’m going to be telling this story about ten dozen times in the days and weeks ahead, so let me get it out of the way now. It’s not like 99% of people reading this will see me in real life, but it’s a “funny” story.
This evening, I raced my niece in her backyard and won! She’s only five, so it’s not a particularly great accomplishment.
The problem came when she stopped at the “finish line” and Uncle Augie lost his balance and came to a violent stop by planting his face into the brick wall that is the back of his sister’s house.
My glasses broke and cut a small bit next to my eye. There’s a huge abrasion on my right cheek. The palm of my left hand has some skin scraped off of it.
I look like friggin’ Harvey Dent right now. Warner Bros — call me now. I’m available for your movie promotions.
The good news is — no eye damage was done. No concussion. Just my bruised ego, a whole lot of embarrassment, and a messed up half a face that will likely take forever to heal. Suddenly, I’m vain. Work is going to be fun on Monday. And I’m heading over to LensCrafters, of all places, for an eye exam and new glasses tomorrow. For tonight, I guess I’ll be reading some comic books at a very close distance.
I’m going to go hide in a corner for a little while now.