Why Cablevision Sucks

Cablevision sucks.  For those of you in the back of the room: Cablevision sucks.

Look, we all know that the local cable company is an inefficient, unreliable, vicious monopoly.  We all know to expect as little from them as possible.  We all know that they actively suck at their jobs and make no bones about it. They’re cold, unfeeling, heartless, rude bastards.

They are, in short, the cable company. In my case, I’m stuck with the company I’ll refer to only as “Cablevision Sucks.”

A Cablevision Sucks rep was scheduled to come to the new house Monday between 8 am and 11 am.  My 30 weeks pregnant wife woke up early to get over to the house to wait for them. Cablevision Sucks — and you saw this coming already — didn’t show up.  Wife calls Cablevision Sucks at 11:15.  They say the appointment was rescheduled for 11 a.m. – 2 p.m. because of some issue with the previous home owner (whose name they had wrong, anyway), who had moved out of the house and transferred her account elsewhere a week ago.  Not only does Cablevision Sucks’ answer not make any sense, but Cablevision Sucks failed to inform us that they changed the appointment. (Really, try that at your doctor’s office sometime.  “Yeah, I had an appointment to see the doctor tomorrow at noon, but I’m free now, so I changed my appointment.  He’ll see me now.”  Riiight.)

At 1:00, they still haven’t shown up, so my wife calls them back.  They claim that there’s a rep in the area and that they’ll try to rush him along.  And that, as a show of good faith, they’ll credit our account $20.  In other words, my wife’s time is worth just over $3 an hour to Cablevision Sucks, a cable company whose customer service truly sucks.  In addition, their story for the reason of the appointment switch earlier in the morning also changed.

At 2:00, they still haven’t show up.  Cablevision Sucks says that the rep is running late but will be there soon.

Fool me once and all that. . . We reschedule for tomorrow 2 – 4.  Part of me wants to stand up that appointment to teach them a vindictive and petty lesson, but that doesn’t solve my cable issue.  Maybe I’ll just call the cable company every 15 minutes during that time frame to make sure the cable guy is still sticking to his appointment.

Another part of me wants to call Verizon and look into FiOS, but I’m sure Verizon is just as bad as Cablevision Sucks.

Can we ever get back to the point in this world where people (a) took pride in their work, (b) arrived in a timely fashion for their appointment, and (c) didn’t suck like Cablevision Sucks?

I know it’s too much to hope for.

Update: Wait!  This just in!  I wrote the above yesterday afternoon at around 3:00.  You want to know the kicker?  The cable guys showed up at the door at 5:00 p.m. Monday.  Let’s take bets: Do you think the next set of Cablevision Sucks reps will show up at the door this afternoon between 2:00 and 4:00 now?

5 thoughts on “Why Cablevision Sucks

  1. just moved recently – and had to deal with my own version of “cablevision sucks” – in this case- it’s real name is VIDEOTRON & is located in Quebec, Canada. Unlike Augie’s case – the guy they sub-contracted to “install” our cable – did arrive on time – though he arrived on time not knowing what the hell to do. His english was non-existent and his french not much better ( in Quebec – french is the primary language – English a close 2nd ) – so we basically had to communicate through awkward half smiles and dumb looks. He left, the cable still wasn’t done – came back 2 hours later to “finish” and then left without a word. Of course – he did a half-ass job and the tv blinked off and on for days. We called the customer service, got treated like we were criminals – and they eventually half-fixed the problem. We called the next day to change our channel selections – and that took 2 weeks and 5 calls to resolve ( the technical solution–unplug the cable 3 times and hook up again!!! ).

    Arghhhhhhhhh !!

  2. We’ve had much better luck with DirecTV over the last 5+ years and several moves.

  3. Augie – FIOS is the way to go. FAR better than cable – better internet connection (MUCH faster for me) while being cheaper at the same time. We just moved to a non-FIOS area, and I’m weeping openly over losing it (okay, maybe not openly, but probably a little internal sobbing at least)

    They’re a little behind in HD channels, but they’re rapidly catching up (and in NY, they just blew past cable with 100 channels)

  4. Not nearly as bad as your situation, but around 12:30 I noticed that internet, phone and cable had gone out. Okay, I’ll give them a bit to fix it… and by 12:55 I still had nothing, so I called TW.

    45 minutes later, and several remote rebooting of the cable box, I’m told, “Oh, we’ve just been informed that there’s an outage in your area.”

    Really. You couldn’t have told me that earlier, wasting both my time and your time?

    Oh, and since I’m a telecommuter who uses his cable modem connection to connect up to the network at our corporate HQ… that just means I’m stuck trying to catch up after things have gotten fixed.

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