AI8 – First Round of 12

Only three go through.  Well, only Danny and two others go through. . .

Typing this as I watch it.  Posting it at the conclusion.  Why am I doing this again?  HABIT.

Jackie Tohn – Remember when nobody knew that Elvis song?  Then someone did a remix of it a few years back and now everyone treats it like “Love Me Tender” II?  Crazy.  Somewhere, the “Leggings Are Not Pants” crowd is screaming at their TV.  Somewhere, confused tweenie girls are asking their mothers why Jackie forgot her denim skirt.

But Simon is right — this will be remembered as a quirky performance, and not a serious one.

On the other hand, I like her spirit and the way she makes fun of Jennifer Hudson. ;-)

Rickie Braddy – So, the Idol photographer is a Nikon photographer.  Dear Idol producers — turn on their lapel mics in the red room!  Other than that, who is this kid again? He sang an Alicia Keyes song in Hollywood week that we never saw.

Uh oh, now he’s chosen a serious song and donned the cliched Idol Smoking Jacket to sing it in. Simon will tell him he’s safe and boring.

And he’s annoying me by making every word contain an extra three syllables.   I think he just sang “Ti-eye-I’m-ime.”

We’re two singers in, and I’m already annoyed by the parents in the Red Room.On the other hand, Momma Braddy just snuck in a plug for his website that, it would seem, has not been built yet.  There’s just an Under Construction page there. Whoops.  Bad web form, Mom.

Alexis Grace – Starting with an Aretha song? Brave. Am I the only one who things she “dirtied her look up” a bit too far? She looks like a lingerie model on stage tonight. It’s almost as bad as those moments in Jackie’s song when she tried to be sexy.

She can sing, don’t get me wrong. So far, they all can. But the presentation is a bit weird.

And, look, Ted Danson and Doogie are there.  And her father is Jim Steinman.

Brent Keith is singing a country song.  Shocker.  And his package piece is not functioning.  Ryan gets to vamp for time.  He did as best as he could.  Not sure the camera man was ready for that, though.  Ah, the glories of live TV.

And this is the guy, remember, who looks like Spencer from “The Hills.”

Damn, that mic is super shiny tonight.  Did they polish the head of it with extra Windex or something this year?

This is a boring song. Not much range. Kinda safe.  Simon will hate it.  Not sure it will be memorable enough, but remember: There’s a strong country contingent watching this show.  He’ll do well in the voting, but I doubt it’ll be enough.

“What HAS happened to Bucky Convington?”  I love you, Simon.

Stevie Wright – She came of age as an “Idol” fan.  She doesn’t remember a world without “Idol.”  Crazy. And now she’s singing a Taylor Swift song. She’s right; it’s a good fit, theoretically.

Ouch, that opening is horribly off key.  Wait, so is the rest of the song.  This is the first Crash And Burn of Season Eight, isn’t it?  I feel bad for her now. And now the judges are going to make her cry. Can we just stop talking about her in the third person?!?

Oh, look, there’s Doogie clapping again.

She definitely looks more like her father.

Anoop Desai – He wants to “bring energy,” yet he’s one of the most deadpan interviews so far.  You know he’s doing a “serious” song, because he’s wearing the jacket. . . Yes, this song certainly brings the sense of fun and energy he claims he wants to showcase on “Idol.”  For starters, I don’t think he’s left the same square foot of stage he’s started on it.  Bad song choice.  I’m bored.  At least he’s mostly on key.

Clearly, the judges want him to go through.  Badly.  If America doesn’t vote for him, he’ll show up in the Wild Card round for sure.

Casey Carlson – She’s the cute one who makes bubble tea.  And now she picks a horrible horrible song for “Idol” purposes.  There’s no vocal range in here. There’s nothing in “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” that will show off an Idol contestant’s prowess. She’s toast.  Shame.

I think I’ll go iron or something while she finishes singing this.  I don’t need to watch it.  Painful.

Oh, crap, she’s about to cry on stage.  This is getting awkward. Keep the camera off her.  This is painful.

She’s probably more embarrassed by her mother than her performance, though.

Crap, we still have 5 more to go?  This is getting tedious.  SOMEONE, PLEASE INSPIRE ME!

Michael Sarver – Best known as the oil rig dude. Is this Josh Gracin Redux?  He reminds me of him a lot.  He’s just a slightly better dancer. I kinda like him.  He sounded out of breath in a few places, but I didn’t hate it.

Has Kara disagreed with Randy yet?

In the Red Room, Michael awkwardly sticks the mic between his crotch and the sofa to flash his numbers at the screen, giving him the Most Phallic Visual Double Entendre of the night.

Ann Marie Boskovich – She’s best known for “changing her look” in the parking lot and then looking exactly the same.  She doesn’t sound bad on “Natural Woman.”  Aside from a couple of crowd-pleasing power notes, is there much memorable there?  She seemed to play it safe the rest of the time.

Then she sat on the hard part in the Red Room. Ryan was derailed by his dirty mind instantly. Oh, hey, the Wolverine trailer!  Cool!

Stephen Fowler – There’s no way this lyric-forgetter should be here. He’s going with a Jacko song and you’re never going to believe this, but he’s a Justin Guarini clone.  Not bad, but I don’t care.

Tatiana Del Toro – Oh god.  Shoot us now. Whitney Houston song?  This is not going to go well, is it?  She looks dead in the eyes.  It’s a little uncomfortable the way she rolls her hips on the “making love the whole night through” line.  I feel dirty just watching it.   Her singing is mostly karaoke.  She won’t stand out, aside from daring to go the Whitney route.  She can sing, but it’s nothing original.

“You are a complete and utter drama queen,” proclaims Simon. The man speaketh the truth!

And then the judges start asking their trained monkey to dance for them — laugh, silly girl, laugh!

Danny Gokey is, mercifully, last. He’s singing a Mariah song.  What, he couldn’t find a good Whitney song to change all of the “He”s to “She”s?

I love this guy’s voice, though.  Maybe this isn’t the most exciting song, for the most part, but I like how he sounds, even if he occasionally looks bored on stage when he’s not pointing directly at the camera with his off-hand.

And Kara needs to realize her mic is always on.

Paula’s drunk.

Danny is getting America’s vote.  After that, I have no idea.

2 thoughts on “AI8 – First Round of 12

  1. The Girlfriend and I only saw the first hour before switching to “The Mentalist.” As always, I was unimpressed and made snide remarks (and praised Simon for saying things that I’m thinking). Then I started ranting on a TOTALLY out there idea involving the eventual top two contestents having to compete in the final week by doing daily one-hour sets for five days to prove that they can not just perform, but perform night after night and do it well. The logistics of how to make it work and make people want to watch were the main topic of discussion… For example, five identical sets would be boring TV, but is it reasonable to expect them to learn new sets of songs each day? Even with new songs, would people want to spend a WHOLE WEEK watching two hours of singing like that? What about commercial breaks? I think I settled on showing the Monday and Friday concerts with the other three filmed and compiled into a one-hour special featuring “behind the scenes” prep stuff aired on Thursday night, and different set lists, but ten to fifteen songs that could be sung on more than one night. Oh god, I am spending FAR too much mental effort on this show now. Damn girlfriend.

  2. Your reviews are the best on the web! And I read them all….

    Love it. As for my beloved Bucky….he is setting records. And recording his 2nd cd right now. From his website:

    With his latest single “I’ll Walk” leaping into the Top 10 on the Mediabase country chart this week, Bucky Covington becomes one of only three male country artists since 2005 – including Josh Gracin and Jason Aldean – to have three consecutive top 10 singles from his debut album.

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