Clay Aiken Impregnates Someone! - TMZ.com

TMZ has learned Clay Aiken is going to be a daddy. […]
Here’s what we know. Multiple sources tell us the mother is Jaymes Foster, a record producer and Clay’s best friend. He lives at her home when he’s in L.A.

We’re told 50-year-old Foster, who produced several Aiken CDs, is due in August. […] She divorced a few years back and has no kids. […]

We’re told Foster was artificially inseminated. But Clay […] will have an active role in raising the child.

Click through for more amazing details that I edited out before having to pay TMZ for borrowing so much material. . .

The whole thing sounds like a gag from SPAMALOT, really, if the Python troop had written it in 2008. .  .

First:

“Idol” Singer Diagnosed With Cancer, Luke Menard Hopeful About Battle With Hodgkin Lymphoma

Handsome “American Idol” finalist Luke Menard has been diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma, a representative for the singer’s a capella group Chapter 6 confirmed.

Also:

Daughter of Steven Curtis Chapman Accidentally Killed By Son

The five-year-old daughter of American Christian music star Steven Curtis Chapman has been struck and killed by a sport-utility vehicle driven by her brother. […]

McPherson says several members of the Chapman family witnessed the accident.

I think I just want to hide in a hole for the rest of the day now.

So, that ends that.

Here’s my funny story: The Mrs. and I are in the midst of buying a house. Tonight, we had an appointment with our mortgage guy to complete all the paperwork. We also had some paperwork to settle regarding the sale of Home A and purchase of Home B.  And we had to eat dinner.  And then we needed to research something else related to the mortgage.  And then there was some internal debate about how to handle certain things.

At 10:15, we turned on the DVR and started watching AMERICAN IDOL.  Five minutes in, my wife was falling asleep, so we fast forwarded straight to the last five minutes to see who won.  (Long-time blog readers probably already know what’s coming up next.)

There’s Ryan on stage with the two Davids.  There’s Simon apologizing to Cook for being a mean rotten bastiche last night.  There’s a guy handing Ryan the golden envelope with the results, taking up screen time for no good reason.

Then Ryan delivers the news: “The winner of American Idol.  2008.  Is…”

Click.  10:00 p.m.  End of recording.

I saw it coming a mile away. I’m not mad at IDOL.  This happens EVERY week. It’s happened on every finale.  I just forgot to program the DVR to record over by five minutes this year.

So I went to FoxNews.com and read the news that Cook won.  As it turns out, the momentum of Archie didn’t matter.  People had already made up their minds for who they planned to vote for BEFORE Tuesday night’s episode.

Tomorrow night, I’ll watch the rest of the two hours and pick on the least talented group of dancers in IDOL history.

But, wow, 97 million votes, was it?  That’s lunacy.  And a 56/44 split ain’t bad.
As for those lost last five minutes of video: Not a problem.  The world has BitTorrent.  I’m surprised the episode isn’t available yet as I type this at 10:51.  Those two hours are taking someone’s computer forever to digitize. . .
Ooh, but SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE begins tomorrow night, too!  Maybe I’ll catch IDOL over the weekend.  Was that really George Michael in the Prince Surprise Guest Slot in the show?  Fascinating.  If and when I watch the rest, I’ll try to post some comments here.  In the meantime, thanks for joining me again on this wild ride this year.

Well, it’s all over now but the voting, eh?

Going in to tonight, I really thought Cook was going to win it.  Then tonight happened.  Archuleta stole all the momentum, made Cook look small, and ran away with it.  I think Cook is toast, but will go on to be the biggest second place finisher in IDOL history, even above and beyond Clay Aiken.

Archuleta played the IDOL song book.  He knew the notes he had to hit, the types of songs he had to sing, and what his part was in the overall storyline. Clive picked “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me,” which has been sung countless times on the show, including by Clay Aiken.  And Randy has been so unflinchingly in Archuleta’s corner that Archie could have gone back in time, slit Ghandi’s throat, shot Mother Teresa between the eyes, and pushed Stephen Hawking down a flight of stairs and Randy would have congratulated Archie on his invention of time travel.

Cook either missed a memo or has never watched IDOL before.  He could have won the whole thing with a strong third song, but instead went for a relatively monotonous slow tempo song.  If he had picked something that swelled up or rocked out or brought the crowd to its feet voluntarily in the middle of the song, he could have won.  “Billy Jean” would have done that.  That Aerosmith song would have worked.  He took the risk that doing a new song over a previously-performed song would work better.  It didn’t.  And now he’ll pay the price for it.

I didn’t hate his “Idol Song,” if we’re still calling them that.  The problem is, that very concept favors heavily the kind of singer Archie is, not Cook.  I can’t imagine Cook singing a song like “A Moment Like This” without looking fake. Archie can pull it off. He’s just a kid. He’ll be a huge Disney Radio hit for the next year or two.  His father will get drunk on power and probably try to re-negotiate his IDOL contract before heading to sleep tonight.  Poor Archie.

Still, the thing that really made me laugh this week was word from FOX that they’ve decided to retune the show for next season to take advantage of the personalities of the singers.  Funny, they said the same thing last year.  Didn’t quite work out that way, did it?

On the other hand, the worst ratings for a season of Idol ever means that, well, that Idol will still be the #1 show of the season by a mile and a half.

Hopefully, they’ll drop the lame and protracted boxing metaphor tomorrow and just give us two and a half hours of stretched out musical entertainment. (Are they still doing the half hour red carpet thing at 7:30?)  Crap, we’re going to see Jason Castro perform again tomorrow, aren’t we?  What duet will the Davids sing?  What mentors will the Top Ten sing with? Which awful contestants from the early try-out rounds will return to remind us of how bad they were?
And am I just getting too cynical for all of this now?

De Blieck Out!

P.S. Ruben still bores me to tears.

P.P.S. Ryan Seacrest’s watch got a credit in the closing credits.  I’m likely the only one to notice, but I was just ticked that HELL’S KITCHEN was getting a late start.

P.P.S. Thankfully, Danny Noriega was not invited to the finale tomorrow night.

Some miscellaneous thoughts on TV news and shows of the week:

• One of the great things about FOX is that they only program two hours a night before throwing it back to their local stations at 10:00.  This always means their shows end promptly at 10:00, with one or two special exceptions.  (Didn’t an X-FILES episode bleed into that hour once?)  But AMERICAN IDOL rules uber alles, and their overtime airings have meant that HELL’S KITCHEN just barely squeeks to an end for the 10:00 time slot.  The show’s only scheduled for 58 minutes as it is, but my DVR still winds up grabbing the last minute of IDOL and cutting off the last minute of HELL’S KITCHEN, which is Chef Ramsey’s final monologue and the coming attractions piece.

I have a better idea, FOX.  When your show runs long, start the next reality show already in progress. I don’t NEED to see the two minute prologue that tells me what happened in last week’s episode.  It’s not that important to a reality show.  Cut that out and let me hear the Chef’s reasons for why he evicted the wannabe he tossed.

• That said, they’re all a pack of losers again this year.  Christina has a chance, I think.  The rest are complete idiots, including that Matt.

• I don’t know who’s to blame, but it was really lousy when the last 20 minutes of the season finale of AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL recorded without sound. Thanks, CW and Cablevision, whoever is to blame.  Idiots.  Now I’ll have to go BitTorrent the show, because you’re not getting any more of my time or money.

• I can’t get enough of that Fantasia performance Wednesday night. I’m still playing it back from YouTube. I hope FOX never shuts that clip down.

• BOSTON LEGAL is a show I lost time for about a year ago, maybe a little more.  It’s probably still a very good show.  It does feature The Shat, after all.  In my perfect world, I’ll catch up to it on DVDs someday after I win the lottery.  In the meantime, it’s been renewed for one last 13 episode season.  David E. Kelley will likely write them all.

It’s just another Kelley show with a short lifespan.  They flame out spectacularly and early, don’t they?  I think BOSTON PUBLIC is the best example of it.  (After the Hook Lady season, it became unwatchable.) On the other hand, I’d gladly take a creative and well written show that only lasts a few short seasons than a mediocre cliched show that lasts 7 plus.

• And I know this is setting the bar very low, but was this season’s BACHELOR the dumbest ever?  Look, I’m married.  I see these shows.  I admit it.  Sometimes, it’s cheesy fun.  The other 55 minutes of each episode is painful.  But how did the little blonde actress fake him out into thinking she was the one for him? She’s clearly the fakest of the lot!  But her Daddy is Lorenzo Lamas, so she has that going for her.  My favorite part of the series was when she referred to her father as having had a TV show once.  You know, RENEGADE?  In the 90s?  What, is FALCON CREST really too old a reference now?  Or was she just too young to have ever stayed up late enough to watch it?  It was on after DALLAS, after all, and that’s pretty late for a 5 year old.

• My mother used to let us watch DALLAS with her at night.  And we were in the room when she watched those trashy soap operas, too.  Sure, I was playing with my GI JOE toys, but still — is that suitable material for a kid?  Is my impending fatherhood weighing on my mind to this degree now, too? Wow.

• The major networks all released their new schedules this last week, and I didn’t care much about any of them.  Is this a sign of maturity?  Or poor programming? Or a healthy track record of disappointment from the networks?

Well, that went as everyone and their mother predicted, didn’t it?  I think even Syesha (and her mother) would have predicted the Battle of the Davids for the finale.

Really, the most entertaining part of the evening was whatever the hell that thing Fantasia was doing on stage was.  I swear to you that Simon’s reaction shot mirrored mine almost exactly.  Just when I thought it couldn’t get any more odd, surreal, or over-the-top, she’d start rolling her shoulders, hunching her back, and kicking a leg.  It was utterly bizarre, and the Must See moment of the week for television.  I usually fast forward through the live acts, but this one was son crazy, I had to watch it (and Simon’s confused response to it.)

So, who wins next week?  The story of the underdog little kid?  Or the older rocker?  I think Cook should win, but I get the feeling Archuleta has the votes and will take it, making Cook the second most successful second place finisher of all time, right after Clay Aiken.

Really, did you see that Fantasia number?  Look it up on YouTube.  It’s phenomenal in its awfulness.  The three backup singers in the mini-dresses lend the whole thing an odd Robert Plant feel, to boot.  Wow.

Update: Here’s Fantasia’s performance.

It’s the annual three songs per contestant round — judges’ choice, contestant’s choice, producer’s choice.  Once again, there are some odd choices foisted upon the contestants (via conspicuous iPhones), who then give themselves some rather odd song selections.

Anything I type here is likely to agree with something the judges said tonight.  And given that I’m dragging already this evening, I’m not going to stay up late typing it all out.  I’ll just say this: If I were Archuleta or Mercado, I’d be ticked off that the producers gave Cook that song to close the show while handing me such drivel.

It was a foregone conclusion going into this night — Syesha was going home this week. The judges stuck by that play book, too.

It’s the Battle of the Davids next week: The youth with the voting bloc versus the slightly creepy-looking guy who’s too good for Idol.  He should be on a pro-level competition like ROCK STAR: INXS, where he could be judged by creepier looking guys with lots of tattoos.

What did you think?  What song stood out to you?  I’ll give a nod to David Archuleta for “And So It Goes.”  It was a disastrous song in the second season, but worked very very well for David in this season, I thought.

David Archuleta’s dad loses ‘American Idol’ backstage pass - Yahoo! News

Despite a warning, Jeff Archuleta insisted on altering “Stand by Me,” one of two songs his son sang on the show Tuesday. By adding a verse from Sean Kingston’s “Beautiful Girls,” the father incurred additional costs for “American Idol,” the person said.

Shows me how well I know the song that I didn’t notice that at all. . .

Honestly, I fast-forwarded through most of it tonight.  Bo Bice sang.  So did Maroon V.  The remaining contestants did another in a series of increasingly awkward group singalongs.

Then Jason went home and nobody mourned.  Even Jason was happy, telling Ryan that he’s relieved because he didn’t want to sing three songs next week.

And an argument can be made that the three best singers are in the top three this season.  IDOL works again.

Four contestants.  Two songs.  ONE American Idol.I should write reality TV show scripts.

Ryan leaks out a bit of interesting info, right at the top of the show: Only one of the remaining contestants has never been a #1 vote getter.  I’m guessing Syesha, sadly.  She’s doomed to be the Kimberley Locke of Season Seven.

What’s up with that wig they stuck on Paula’s head tonight?  Weird.

It’s a bit of a reach to think that one of the Idols might one day land in the RnR HOF.

Thankfully, the judges will critique the contestants after each song.  Is this due to the time saved by only needing to do eight songs this week?  Or are we trying to save Paula any more embarrassment after last week’s debacle?  You make the call.

David Cook - “Hungry Like the Wolf” -  The “doo doo doo doo” moments seem forced.  Maybe he should have left those to the background singers.  His voice sounds fine, but the song has lost all of the rhythm and the melody that make it great.  It’s just David Cook doing his thing over the song.  He even looks bored as he sings the song.  He’s not getting into the song.  He seems distant from it.  I’m not a fan.

Syesha Mercado - “Proud Mary” - Seems like a natural fit.  She’s doing choreography with it, which means the judges will scream “Broadway” again.  She’s being “Elvised” — the camera is avoiding her hips when she’s rolling them.

Yeah, the song did her no favors in the “Broadway” department.  But she’s very comfortable on the stage.  The vocal is lost to the manic choreography. I don’t know if I’d follow Simon calling it “bad” and “shrieky,” but I don’t think it showed her at her best.

Jason Castro - “I Shot the Sheriff” - Oh, my. The dreadlocks are let loose!  The kid has done this show for how many weeks now?  He still hasn’t figured out how not to blow air into the mic.  UGH.  At least he seems comfortable on the stage.  He’s alive during the song for the first time in a month. Sadly, it’s a piss poor performance. Wait, that’s it?  The song seemed about 20 seconds long.  Strange.  And karaoke.  Crash and burn.

Oh, Randy beat Simon to the karaoke comment.

Paula is right — he’s never performed more to the audience.  But it doesn’t matter.  It’s crap.

I’m getting tired and cranky.

David Archuleta - “Stand By Me” - Of course he’s doing this song.  It fits perfectly into his wheel house.  (I can’t believe it took me this long to get to that cliched phrase tonight.)  He did it well.  Maybe the bar has been set so low this week, but I really liked it. Best song of the night so far, though he have his usual bit of breathiness in the second half.

And I swear I wrote the preceding paragraph before Simon said it nearly word for word.  Wow.

For the second half of the show, I promise to be much more succinct.

David Cook - “Baba O’Riley” -  I really liked it, though it nailed the problem with the night: this show’s format doesn’t give the contestants enough room to work a song. Give the song another minute to breathe and I think he could REALLY recreate the song into something new.  This was just the trailer for Cook’s cinematic recreation of The Who.  Good job.

Syesha Mercado - “A Change Is Gonna Come” - (I was really hoping she’d sing Dusty Springfield’s “You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me” a la Nadia Turner.)  Give her a mic and let her pure voice come out. Beautiful, though again the need to shorten the song up to a minute and a half means she needs to go from power to slightness to power.

Randy hated it.  Paula stands to applaud. Syesha cries. Simon agrees with Paula and says Randy got it completely wrong. Syesha brings up the Civil Right aspect of the song twice.  Boy, they’re bringing out all the tricks to save her tonight, aren’t they?  GOOD.  Or is it just that they want to get rid of Castro so badly that they’ll praise everyone else to the hilt?  Don’t they realize that reverse logic works better on Idol voters?  Uh oh.

“Randy, thanks for the buzz kill…  Randy, we’re running out of time.  Hell’s Kitchen’s gonna start. - Ryan

Jason Castro - “Mr. Tambourine Man” - I hear William Shatner already.  Crap, then he goes and forgets the lyrics. Why doesn’t he just crucify himself on the Simon Cross now?  Why bother with the show, really?  Welcome to Jason’s Very Very Bad Night.

I think this might be the first ever Double Idol Crash and Burn!

Let’s cancel the vote and just kick him off the show now.  Why doesn’t he just go home and save us all the trouble?

Didn’t Josh Gracin blow a lyric in Season Two in the round of four, too?  No, that was the round of five?  He recovered, had a good week in the Round of 4, and went straight home.

David Archuleta - “Love Me Tender” - Another good song choice.  He didn’t know the song in advance. Uh oh. He’s visibly fighting to keep his eyes open, but he’s remembering the lyrics.

Whoa.  Stop the presses.  I thought he was brilliant on that.  He was subtle enough and subdued enough to eliminate all of his annoying traits.  He was in control of that song and made it work.

Clearly, Castro was the worst of the night and deserves to go home.  Archuleta won, with Cook in second and Syesha in a close third.  But does it matter?  Will America vote on talent?  Will Cook pull a Daughtry tomorrow night?  Will Syesha’s crying get her enough sympathy votes to trump the avalanche of pity votes that “I Forgot The Lyrics” Jason will be getting?

I think Jason will go home tonight.  Syesha goes home next week.  The finale is between the two Davids.  Cook wins it all.  I have to believe that, or my head will explode.

I’ve always maintained a certain detachment from the show.  I don’t get emotionally worked up over AMERICAN IDOL.  I stand back, analyze everything, and have the occasional short-lived rooting interests.

Brooke White wasn’t going to win the whole thing, and it’s thus immaterial whether she goes out in second place or 12th.

Yet I’m starting to get plenty pissed that not only is Jason Castro still on the series, but he’s not even in danger.  Ever.  The only thing working against him is that eventually he’ll start splitting votes with David Archuleta for “cute” and “young” singer. When that happens, the votes will side with quality and Archuleta will pull ahead and Castro will go home. But will it be at David Cook’s expense?  Or Syesha’s?

Is Jason Castro this season’s Sanjaya Malakar, donning dreadloks instead of fauxhawks?

UGH

It seems that the rumors of Paula’s drunkenness reached Idol producers, who pushed Ryan out there to — well, profess IDOL’s love for Paula.  I think he denied them, too.  I’m sticking with my theory.  Paula is easily confused and can’t handle live television. She had notes from dress rehearsal and she went to those.  No, the show is not scripted.  If it was, how could she make a mistake like that? Duh.

Otherwise, it was a fine show tonight.  Neil Diamond’s song was a little too laid back, perhaps, but I actually like the Natasha Bedingfield song and her interaction with Archuleta.  We finally had a call-in worth listening to, with Simon’s first kiss.  He remembered her, which is always good.  Lastly, the preview for SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE was spectacular.  Looks like Nigel broke his right hand, though.

On the other hand, that opening Neil Diamond medley was about the most horrific thing Idol producers have ever foisted on us. Jason and Brooke can’t do choreography and are awkward to begin with.  The songs were tedious.  The staging was sad.  I would have fast-forwarded through it, but I was afraid I’d miss The One Good Part. I didn’t.

I’ll miss Brooke.  I hope Syesha survives next week, though.

Not to scare you all, but next week is the week Chris Daughtry went out.  I wonder if David Cook is freaked out by that?

Sadly, my DVR cut out in the middle of Brooke’s final song. I’m imagining she never finished the song. She was in no shape.  Sad.

The cast is dwindling fast, and so is the quality.  I have a feeling that there will be some debate around the ‘net tomorrow about the theme weeks.  There comes a point in every season where people start to question the wisdom of throwing diverse and crazy themes at the contestants.  Let’s face it: Neil Diamond, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Mariah Carey, and Dolly Parton do not often get played on the same radio station.  Some might complain that the crazy diversity means a different contestant will tank every week, and others will struggle to get through. Give them songs in their wheelhouse, and they’d be stars.

That debate happens every year.  Personally, I like the creativity that musical diversity brings about.  I like seeing how the odd pairings can work in a contestant’s favor.  I’m sympathetic to the argument, though it’s an impossible one to fix.

The thing that is beginning to bother me in the judges’ comments is the shift in the show from being a vocal competition to being a musical arrangement competition.  David Cook is really really good and deserves to win it all this year.  The further this thing goes, the more obvious it becomes that he’s the only one who should win.  Anyone else would be a joke to the show.  But the show is currently playing to his strengths. The judges love to hear him rearrange things or borrow major rearrangements from other acts, and then they complain that the other contestants haven’t rearranged a song enough. There’s a difference between “making a song your own” and “rearranging the whole song.”  The latter will be the venue of more mature artists with musical inclinations.  The American Idol doesn’t necessarily have to be a songwriter and orchestral conductor. Obviously, such things would help, but I don’t think that’s in the show’s mandate. The judges are starting to slip it in there.

If I wanted that, I’d start a letter writing campaign to bring back ROCK STAR this summer to CBS. There’s a show that shone with musical rearrangements.

In any case, it was Neil Diamond night and each contestant sang two songs.  Their first song performances ranged from the hideous to the merely OK. The second songs were all #1 hit singles, by comparison.

The most uncomfortable moment of the show was when Paula attempted to critique songs she hadn’t heard yet.  Whether she took notes in dress rehearsal or merely got her notes confused between people (as she suggested), the world may never know.

Jason Castro - Started with “Forever In Blue Jeans” and nearly put everyone to sleep, save Paula, who can dance to anything.  It wasn’t bad or hideously off-key or anything.  It was just capital-B Boring. We’ve seen this song and dance from him before and it’s no longer impressive.

His second song was “September Morn,” which felt much more comfortable for his voice, though his lack of guitar made him appear uncomfortable.  He still doesn’t have enough to justify continuing on in this competition.

Tangent: Is it just me, or does Neil Diamond look and sound like Agent Smith from The Matrix?

David Cook - He’s a smart cookie.  He picked two lesser-known songs and rocked them both.  The first, “I’m Alive,” showed vocal similarities to Diamond.  The second, “All I Really Need Is You” really came alive.  The song sounded exactly like something you’d hear on the radio today.  He’s got that familiar popular husky moody voice that adult contemporary stations love to sell to soccer moms.  We’ve said it before with previous performances, but I think this is the song that best exemplifies the song that could go from Idol to Top 10 radio hit overnight.

Tangent: With that unfortunately low camera angle, the drummer starts to look like Gary Coleman.

Brooke White - Crashed and burned with “I’m A Believer.” I think it’s just too soon since Shrek.  It’s not the right song for her.  It wasn’t believable.  I’m sure she likes the song and thought she had fun with it, but it was uncomfortable to watch her try to be that upbeat.  It reminded me of a children’s birthday performer.  Not good at all. The song is too fast and too loud and goes against all her best qualities.

Thankfully, her second song, “I Am I Said” was right in her wheelhouse.  (I think it was Randy who used the “wheelhouse” analogy too many times tonight, but it fits here once more.)  She sounded great behind the piano.  She was believable. It was 10x better.

On the other hand, her logic needs work. She wrote an early lyric on the palm of her hand so she wouldn’t forget it.  She was playing the piano.  When would she see her palm?  Plus, isn’t that the kind of thing the judges bounce contestants for during their initial try-outs?!?

Tangent: Ryan is singing song titles an awful lot this season, isn’t he?

David Archuleta - I’m over him.  He’s Disney Radio. He’s precocious.  He’s just not believable to me. Occasionally, he hits a strong note and carries a tune, but it all seems over his head.  And that right hand never stops reaching out.  The lips never stop getting licked.  The longer he’s here, the more he grates on me. Sadly, it’s something I’ll have to live with.  I don’t see any way this kid isn’t in the finals, with the teenage vote what it is.

He also picked the two most obvious songs from the Diamond catalogue.  One shouldn’t try to do “Sweet Caroline” as an IDOL song. It’s a cheesy night club song.  It’s a wedding song.  It’s a singalong thing that nobody takes seriously.  And he’s trying to turn it into a vocal powerhouse?  I don’t get it.

The second song, “America,” is the most obvious choice, but another song that’s not that great for IDOL, unless you’re a better actor/performer (more on that in a second) than David.  Plus, his voice cracked in the middle of the song and nobody called him on it. UGH Still, I think it was a much better performance than the first song.

I imagine Kristy Lee Cook is at home, mad that she didn’t get to sing this one.

Syesha Mercado is doomed.  She’s great. She might be the best pure singer left in the competition.  No, she is.  She might have won this in an earlier season.  Nobody can sing as clearly or as cleanly as she does. And what does she get for it?  America never votes for her, and the judges have decided to confuse “performance” with “Broadway.”  If anyone else did what she did on stage, they’d praise them for selling the song. With Syesha, they’ve already decided she’s Broadway-bound.  To her credit, Syesha seems happy enough to go to the Great White Way tomorrow.  Based on voting patterns, she might have to.

She started with “Hello Again,” which had the best vocal of the night.   Then, she went to “Thank the Lord for the Night Time,” the performance song with a strong vocal and a big stage show that invoked the Supremes, complete with three backup singers on stage.  I liked them both.  Completely different songs, strong performances and vocals on both.  She’s doomed.

Overall, from best to worst: Syesha, David C., David A., Brooke (because that first song was so atrocious), and Jason bringing up the far rear.  If there was any justice, Jason would go home and Brooke would be safe. I’m thinking we’ll actually see that happen. I’m betting on Carly’s voters going to Syesha to prop her up.  I think Carly’s fans are vocalist fans.

De Blieck Out!

I can explain this one. It’s sad, but not entirely unpredictable.  Not only were the two best singers in the bottom two this week, but the two who had the best performances overall landed in the bottom two.

There was no Bottom Three.  They saved one person that agony. I wonder if it would have been Jason Castro, who I predicted would leave this week?

It was just Syesha and Carly sitting on the stools, stage right.  At first, it’s devastating. When the overrated Archuleta is breezing his way through to the finals, the stumbling Brooke carries through, and the hopeless Jason mumbles his way through another wretched number that sounds like all the others, the two girls with the strongest and most powerful voices are the only ones in danger of leaving.

But think about it for another minute or two.  It’s a classic case of vote splitting.  Syesha and Carly are splitting the same audience.  The people who watch this show looking for the next Mariah or Whitney have only Syesha and Carly to choose from.  With Carly now gone, Syesha gains votes for the first week in a long time.  I think she’s safe now next week, for sure. She just got all of Carly’s votes.

Cooke is the lone rocker.  Brooke is the lone folksinger.  Jason and David might be splitting a bit of the youth vote, but David is the superior singer, overrated as he is.  Carly and Syesha are, relatively speaking, the same singer.  When votes are split in this show, people leave too soon.

Just look back, again, to the LaToya London, Jennifer Hudson, Fantasia Barrino week.  They were all too very similar to not split the vote, and Hudson left, with all her votes going to the eventual winner in Fantasia.  (As I recall, sadly, LaToya didn’t last much longer after that week.)

So this is just a simple matter of vote splitting.  That said, I do have a negative feeling about this season. I fear we’re going to wind up with a one hit wonder Idol this season.  David Cooke, I think, is the only one left who might have a valid long-term career, and even then it will always be in the shadow of Chris Daughtry.

We heard about how this was the best Top 12 in Idol history, but it’s winding down to something that’s not very pretty.

It’s Andrew Lloyd Webber week, with special guest dance star, Ricky Minor.  How odd.  It’s odd enough seeing him not strapped into his bass guitar.  It’s odder still seeing him in a tux.  But donning a chapeau and dancing with the contestants on stage?

Bizarre.

Syesha Mercado - “One Rock N Roll Too Many” - I don’t know which musical this is from.  I was hoping for something from “Whistle Down The Wind,” just for the Jim Steinman goodness.  Sadly, it never happened.  This was a fun upbeat and lively number.  It’s the first time Syesha’s really “rocked out,” and did so in the guise of sexy musical theater.  Go figure.  She interacted with the band.  She told her story. I thought she was a little lost in the verses when she wasn’t powering through, but it was a memorable enough act to get her some votes.  Is it enough to overcome the dreaded #1 start on the night?  I don’t now.

I liked the way Randy and Simon both went for her jugular in the nicest way possible.  “You can be a Broadway star” is the nice way of telling someone, “You’ll never win this show if we have any say in it.”

Speaking of which, I was watching the latter rounds of Season Two this last week.  Forget Ruben versus Clay.  Kimberley Locke should have won it.

Jason Castro - “Memory” from CATS - Crash and burn?  Possibly.  It’s a matter of style.  There were a few moments, particularly early on, where I thought he was changing the song to fit his style.  It kind of worked with a funkier more rhythmic beat.  Sadly, he didn’t go there.  He merely muddle through, as Simon put it, the longest two minutes of his life.  Perhaps Webber’s words should have been our warning: “He kind of understood it [the song].  I think.”

As for men not singing the song — I rather like Dennis De Young’s version, thanks.

Brooke White - “You Must Love Me” - It’s the new song from EVITA, the movie.  She stutter started again.  Blew the second line and stopped the orchestra. Ouch.  I fear she’s starting to lose it.  I was nervous for the rest of the song for her.  That didn’t feel good.  Simon said she looked tense after that, too.  I’m inclined to agree.  That’s where I picked the vibe up from.  She has a nice voice.  It’s not meant to be a power Broadway singer.  Stick to something folksier and she’ll be fine.  She did “get” the song, though.

Does it really matter, though, how these contestants sing?  Aren’t Brooke, Syesha, and Jason just cannon fodder right now?  (Carly ain’t much better.)
David Archuleta - “Think of Me” - PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.  He attempted a remix and failed.  He lost the melody and the song completely for me.  Very distracting.  Archuleta might be the single most highly overrated contestant in this show’s history.  If he’s not powering through, he’s lost.  Try listening to him in the lower parts, or the verses where he doesn’t have the chance to scream a note.  It’s not terribly exciting.

Having said that, Randy called him the boy to beat, and Paula thought the song was “absolutely perfect.”

They really are stuck in some other aural world up there on set, aren’t they?

Simon, at least, called it one of David’s weaker performances.

Carly Smithson - “Superstar” - That JC musical.  Ricky Minor is back and dancing.  This is Carly’s attempt to recreate what Syesha had at the beginning of the show.  It works for her, in large part because it’s so different and so sure.  It’s not her best vocal performance on the show, but it’s her best “performance” for a song.  She looked comfortable on stage.

Now, let’s get to that t-shirt she held up after the song.  “Simon Loves Me,” it said. In all-caps.  Problem One: It’s in Comic Sans.  Problem two: It uses the wrong “I” in Simon’s name.  The crossbar-I should never be used in the middle of a word.  It’s wrong. It’s ugly.  It’s distracting.  UGH

Whoever made that shirt should be voted off the show tomorrow night for crimes against typography.

David Cook - “Music of the Night” - PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.  I like the tone of his voice paired with this song.  It’s great for him. I just don’t think he sold it. Maybe I shouldn’t judge — this is an intense love song, and I’m the wrong audience for it.  I just didn’t think he sold it as well as he could have, from a performance point of view.  Still, I liked the vocal.

Said Paula to David, “You have a beautiful instrument.”  Isn’t that what she told Corey Clark, too?

Syesha, Brooke, and Jason will be in the bottom three.  Who will go home?  Eh, who knows?  I think Brooke’s stumble will get her people voting for her in mass quantities.  Syesha excited the small fanbase she has. Jason finally goes home.

(Since I didn’t pick Syesha, I fear it’s curtains for her now.)

De Blieck Out!

If you missed it, I can save you an hour:

The bottom three: Syesha, Kristy, and Brooke.

Ryan declared Syesha safe first, just to completely throw off my game.  Really.  I’m going to keep picking Syesha to go home every week until I get it right.  I’ll be right eventually. I just know it.

At that point, Kristy started to say her good-byes, but Brooke tried to shush her, telling her that she never knows what’s going to happen.  But she did.  Kristy went home tonight.

It’s always sad when someone peaks too late in the game, but that’s what happened here.

Mariah Carey sang. I think. Her obnoxiously fake diamond-studded mic stand and mic were blinding me from her orange skin, and the volume level on her mic was so low that it sounded like she was singing far in the background behind the backup singers.  When she screamed, it just about leveled out. Maybe that was the point?  Set the mic for the high notes, and let the rest fade away? Awful song, in any case.

Also, we finally had the caller from hell, as one girl was giving shout outs from all her friends to various contestants.  That whole segment is a very very bad and unnecessary idea.  I don’t know why they haven’t killed it yet.
Next week: I’ll call it now — Syesha goes home.