Need to get a few of these off my chest:

• Haven’t done a hybrid car story here in a long time, but surely a Porsche hybrid calls for attention!

• Isaac Asimov’s “Foundation” movie to be a 3D motion capture CGI film? Sure, why not? Like the initial reports that Roland Emmerich was directing it didn’t lower our expectations far enough…

• As a college Ultimate player, it’s very sad to see the guy who created the frisbee passed away recently.

• The Worst Apple Products of All Time. Includes the phone, the gaming console, and the iPod Hi-Fi.

• The military has been monitoring various social media to get ideas for where to help in Haiti. Interesting.

• Headline writers get it wrong sometimes. John McIntyre has some hilarious recent examples. Love his copy-writing blog.

• The first cowboy to draw loses. Here’s why.

• What is TiVo planning to unveil in March?

• Dear Amazon — I’ll take a free Kindle, too. I’ll subscribe to Prime, I promise. Thanks!

• Hilarious bit of SEO: A story about Facebook logging-in techniques gets higher rankings on Google than your actual Facebook log-in page. Confusion ensues from the clueless who use Google to go everywhere. Seriously, there are still people who type Facebook into Google to go there, instead of just typing Facebook.com. Ugh

• Rumor: Hulu to move away from Flash for iPad? Oooh, Adobe would not like that.

• Shocking: Higher song prices lead to fewer downloads. Does the music industry have any feet left to shoot itself in?

• I think I might still be drooling over the Canon T2i. And it’s only the entry level camera. This is nuts.

You know what would be really funny? Even funnier, perhaps, than Apple calling an event at the end of the month and just announcing an Apple TV update or some random MacBook processor upgrade?

I want them to announce a Tablet that’s just a big screen iPod. Literally, it’s the same thing with a bigger screen. There’s no fancy new user interface with it. There’s no content deals with cable television or book or magazine publishers. It runs iPhone apps, just with all the graphics doubled in size. (Key developers have been told to redo all their JPGs at twice the size.) It doesn’t have a camera, a kickstand, or BlueTooth functionality. There’s no built-in comics reader. No 3G. Just Wi Fi and a USB port. There’s only 4GB memory, even.

It’s just a big dumb iPod Touch for $1000.

Then watch the internet burn itself — and Cupertino, CA — to the ground for 24 hours. It would be hysterical.

And I only say all this because I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to afford whatever piece of awesomeness Apple DOES announce at the end of the month, so it doesn’t matter to me.

Last summer, I asked for one iPhone App: a version of ProfCast, a popular Mac slideshow-making program that allows you to record your narration as you flip the slides over. Check out the comments to my original post for a comment from a ProfCast developer that they were working on it.

This week, it arrived. It’s called SonicPics. It does just what I asked for.

You create a project, drop all the pictures in from your picture library on your iPhone then record your narration as you swipe across the screen to change slides. There are even three different recording quality choices.

You need to be on a wi-fi connection to then transfer the final video to YouTube or your computer. For whatever reason, you can’t just save the video into your photo library and then transfer it via iPhoto. It’s a bit kludgy, too: the app gives you an IP address you go to on your web browser, and there’s a page with the video to download. I don’t understand that part, but I can get past it. It still saves the video for you, so you could work on a second project while the first one is still sitting out there. It doesn’t stop you from doing any more work.

My dream new feature: Telestrator capabilities. Let me draw on the slides as I talk, and then erase that drawing when I flip to the new slide. That’s above and beyond, but it would be cool. I can do it on the desktop with SnapZ, but I want everything on the iPhone.

At $3.99, it’s worth it to me for all the things I could do with it — and plan on doing with it.

For now, here’s the video I made this afternoon to test it out. It’ll show you what HDR photography is, and how that can be done on the iPhone, as well. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

(Whoops. Vimeo mangled the transcoding. Am now uploading it to YouTube instead. Let’s see how that goes.)

OK, let’s try YouTube now:

From a couple weeks back:

Over the weekend, someone used a fire ladder to climb to the roof of a huge warehouse in Willebroek, a Dutch-speaking municipality in the Belgian province of Antwerp, cut a hole in the roof, and made off with 3,000 to 4,000 brand new Apple  iPhones, according to reports in the Belgian press.

The phones have since been spotted on the Russian black market.

Isn’t it amazing how the thought of new iPods causes us to yawn now? For years, this September announcement was an exciting thing. You never know what was coming next: size, price point, color, form factor. Nowadays, who cares? We’re already committed to our iPhones as Apple Geeks, and the rest of the world already has enough iPods that a new one isn’t all that exciting. It’ll be nice to see a camera in the iPod Touch, but that’s hardly a shocking announcement.

Are we expecting too much from Apple? Does EVERY event have to announce an iPhone to get excitement surrounding it? That hardly seems fair.

I don’t know what we’ll see for sure this year, but I’ll say this: If it’s Facebook/Twitter integration for iTunes, then I’m staying off those sites for a few days. You’re going to know what EVERYONE is listening to for a few days, because everyone will want to test it out and let the rest of the world know what “random” (i.e. pre-selected to make them sound cool, not necessarily something that they like) track they’re listening to Right This Very Minute.

That Beatles Rock Band game looks cool, though, doesn’t it?

The next version of Lightroom will not run on PowerPC Macs.  This is very very bad news for me, as the desktop I do all my photo editing on is a Mac Pro that’s five years old now and, yes, a PowerPC-based machine. 
 
It’s understandable and I’m not mad.  I’m just sad, I guess.  I know it’s time to update the computer, but the cheapest desktop Mac these days is two grand.  And for my main work station with nearly a terabyte of pictures now, I like the expandability of a desktop machine, not a laptop. UGH.  I suppose I shuold start saving up now. And sell a kidney.
 
I also just now realized that this is the longest I’ve owned a computer in my adult life.  In my PC years, I’d buy a new system every couple or three years.  This Mac desktop that many label as “overpriced” has lasted twice as long for only a very slightly higher price than I paid for my desktop PCs.
 

I have software to do this at home on my computer (ProfCast), but since nothing beats the convenience of the iPhone for doing Anything Anytime Anywhere, I thought I’d suggest it here, or ask if anyone has seen an App like this out in the wild:

I want an App that will allow me to make a video slideshow that I can narrate.  Let me go to a folder of my pictures, pick the ten I want to show.  Let me then “begin recording.”  The first image shows up.  The mic turns on and I can talk over the pic.  When I want the next image, I tap a large button on the screen. I keep talking.  When all is done, I click the stop button, the iPhone creates a video of the pictures with my narration over top of them, and then I can upload the whole shebang straight to YouTube, the way I do with my 3GS videos.  Alternatively, let me download an uncompressed QuickTime video to my computer next time I synch up.

Is that too much to ask?  Does it already exist?  Even if it creates a video that I have to sync up with my computer to upload to YouTube, I’d be happy.  (I’d be doubly happy if that would help preserve video quality, too.)

I’ve seen slideshow-generating apps, but most expect you to have a song to play already, and then, at best, give you control of how long each pic should be on screen. I could use that, but it seems like a kludge and an awful lot of work.  I need simplicity here.

* I’ve discovered that you really have to whip that thing around on its side to activate the accelerometer enough to change the screen’s orientation. Also, it only works if you’re holding the phone in your hands, and not laying it flat on a desk or table.

* Tilting sideways isn’t universal.

* Wi-Fi is about 5x faster than 3G.  And don’t get me started on the pain that is Edge. The Speed Test app is worth the free download just to teach yourself that little fact.  I tend to keep Wi Fi off unless I’m at home, just to keep the phone from searching for a Wi Fi signal and draining its battery.  In the car, I use the ear bud that came with the phone instead of the Bluetooth earpiece.  And I don’t leave location search on until I need it.
* I wish I could subscribe to a podcast through the iTunes interface, instead of just streaming a show.  It’s also amazing how few podcasts there are under 10 MB.

* The Clock app’s alarm clock interface is so much easier and quicker to use than my old Razr phone’s.  (That’s right, I use my cell phone as my wakeup alarm clock.)

* I hate that Notes App font.  At least it’s not Comic Sans.

* eBay detects that you’re using an iPhone and gives you a very simplified version of its page. I like that a lot.  (No, I’m not using eBay these days, but I am checking on values of things in my collection, as I prepare to sell an awful lot of comics off.)

* I like how Apple does a 30 second TV commercial to highlight cut-and-paste.  It that ballsy, chutzpah, or just funny?

* The YouTube app is nice, too.  I like the search and the ability to email myself a link to a video I might want to later pass along or bookmark at home or something.  I also like how the videos play in landscape format automatically, with big control buttons.  It’s painful to wait on an Edge connection for it to load, though.

* I don’t use the new all-iPhone search right now.  Maybe that’ll change someday.  I only have three screens’ worth of apps, so I’m never lost.
* I wish iTunes would synch my camera pics, audio memos, and videos automatically, instead of making me email them to myself.  That’s just odd.  Or am I missing something? (Update: Found the voice memos in iTunes in their own playlist. Yay!)

Today, some apps that I’ve downloaded and find myself using the most:

Erica Sadun’s To Do app is barebones and featureless and a bit ugly, but it does the job I need it to do.  I don’t need anything fancier than this, thanks.  I probably could just use 37 Signals’ TaDaLlist.com, instead, but this is good enough for a few things at a time.  It’s also free.

I love looking up “To Do” in the App Store, because all the icons are identical.  They’re all checks over a box, with various color schemes.

TweetDeck is, no doubt, the most used. It’s the only way I ever want to use Twitter now, thanks.  Someday, I’ll get it linked up to my desktop client, but not just yet.  I don’t need it to be.  I don’t follow so many people that I get lost in the noise.

The USA Today app is good for a quick breeze through the news.  And once it’s done updating itself, the stories load instantly, which is nice.

Flight Control. Addicting little game.  My high score is 19.  Not the game that I’ll kill the most time with, but I like the interface, where you’re drawing landing paths for all the planes flying around, without letting them crash.  Games aren’t terribly long, either.

Tiki Golf 3D.  Fun mini-golf game.  The opening levels are challenging without being impossible.  I’m trying “Let’s Golf” next for a more serious golfing game.

iHandy Level.  I don’t know when I might use it, but I like having a bubble spirit level thing in my pocket.

Amazon.com. I’ve used the feature where you take a picture of something and they email you back with what it is a few times with great success.  Impressive, and very handy.

PhotoGen.  THE photo editing app for the iPhone.  Just adjusting the levels is enough for most pictures, but this also handles cropping, color adjustments, and all the standard stuff you could ask for.

Fieldrunners.  Desktop Tower Defense for the iPhone. The single biggest time sink on the iPhone for me right now.  I’ve played this kind of game before, but it still hooks me.  I screamed when I lost on level 99 the other day.  The game only has 100 levels. Ugh!

I’ll tell you the moment I fell in love with my iPhone, and it didn’t come until day three or four.

I needed to change the date of a doctor’s appointment I had coming up.  I had entered my doctor’s phone number in my address book on my laptop, so it had already synched up to my iPhone.  Great.  A couple of taps, and the phone call is made.

After I made the appointment, I realized I’d be going to my doctor’s office straight from work for the first time, and wondered what the quickest way to get there would be.

There’s an app for that: Google Maps.  I typed my doctor’s name and town into the search bar, and the first red pin on the map five seconds later was right.  I tapped on it, and it brought up a contact info screen with her name, address, and phone number.  I tapped on the “Add to Contacts” button.  I chose “Add to Existing Contact,” since she was already in there.  And bam, her address and Google Map location was saved into my address book.  No duplication.  Fit right in.

As for getting from work to her office?  I went back to Google Maps, where I had bookmarked certain locations — home, work, etc.  A couple taps later, I had the most direct driving route from work to the doctor’s.  When the time comes to drive it, I can turn on my GPS and see my progress in real time.  ( I used that feature to drive around a traffic jam in town already once. )

So easy, so smooth, so quick.

All of a sudden, I’m interested in maintaining an address book seriously for the first time in my life.  My phone makes it easy to wield it.  And the fact that I can easily access it all while I’m on the phone (assuming the ear buds or Bluetooth earpiece are in) is a wonderful bonus.

I will refrain, however, from taking my doctor’s picture in her office to add to my phone book.  That might be going a bit too far.

No App store?
Edge network connection?
Piddling 1.3 megapixel camera phone?
8 GB storage, at best?
No Video?
$599 price point?
No GPS?
Mono BlueTooth connection?
No compass?!?

Why in heaven’s name did you people buy iPhone 1.0?!?  That must have been like living in the stone age, and hunting for berries for lunch. . .

And why do I get the feeling I’ll be asking similar questions of myself with the 3GS in a couple of years?

After much wailing and gnashing of teeth, I drove over to the Apple Store last Friday, not sure of what I might find there.  I arrived at 11:45, and walked out with my new iPhone 3GS 32 GB black model in less than a half hour.  I only stood in line for 5 -10 minutes.  My name was on their reservation list, so I got to sit on the short line of a half dozen people.  This being Apple, the reservation list was organized by first name. They want to really really know you, as a friend.

The late-comers were on a second line about twice as long, and moving half as fast.  The store was virtually closed that day to all but iPhone buyers and those with Genius Bar appointments.  And the Genius Bar was booked through Tuesday, I heard the concierge tell one person.  People who wanted to walk in to buy computers ($1000+ items, mind you) were told to wait outside until they could find an available sales person.

The concierge introduced me to my salesperson, who found me in the computerized system easily enough (minus the glitch about a space being in my last name), and started taking me through all the steps.  The only hang-up?  My credit authorization wasn’t in the system, so she had to call AT&T to verify that.  That took at least five minutes.  She said to me, “We’ve had that error a few times today.  Nothing to worry about.  You’d think AT&T would be able to figure that out and get their servers working.”  “No,” I said, “nobody expects anything from AT&T.”  She didn’t say anything back, but she laughed a knowing laugh.  I don’t blame her for being reticent to blast an Apple business partner, but she knows as well as everyone else in that store where the weak link of the iPhone is.

They took my credit card and two gift cards I had saved up for the purchase, had me digitally sign a thing or two, emailed me my recent, and then took me over to another table filled with tech people whose job it was to plug the iPhone into iTunes to start it up.  After that was done, he asked if I wanted to set up an email account on the phone.  I did.  They listed Gmail as a possibility, so the tech handed me the iPhone and told me to go ahead and type in my name and password.

::gulp:: I’ve never typed on an iPhone before.  Now, here I was, standing in front of an Apple employee with hands that felt like sides of beef, trying to tap out my user name and password.  You don’t get the benefit of autocomplete when you’re doing that, by the way.

Took me three tries, but I finally got it to work.  My main problem came in typing the password, since keypresses are automatically replaced with stars as you type.

I pretended that I was trying different passwords and they guy laughed, “Yeah, we get that a lot.”  Did he know I was lying?

And by the time that flop sweat dried up, I was headed out the door with my new toy.

Let the learning curve begin!

Tomorrow: The Coolness of the New Toy.

An update to last week’s Apple Linguistic Mess post:

Apple iPhone Email, June 9:

Apple iPhone Email, June 17:

Same guy in blue, but now talking about your “pre-authorization” instead of how you can “reserve” an iPhone.  You’re “saving time” now, not “get[ting]” anything.

There are two possibilities here:

Last week, a reservation meant that there was plenty in stock and you’d be guaranteed your reserve.  This week, it’s getting closer, supplies are dwindling, and so you can’t be guaranteed an iPhone anymore.

Or, they realized that their language last week was dead wrong. As I’ve often said in the last week, making a reservation at a restaurant doesn’t give you “First Come, First Served” seating.  The small print last week indicated that.  The message was decidedly mixed.

I’d have pre-ordered my iPhone and had it shipped home, but I have two Apple Store gift cards I plan to use for this purchase.  The Apple Store doesn’t have a spot for them in its check-out process.  As wonderful and advanced a company as Apple is, it can’t even get its gift cards to work on-line?  (It was purposeful for the original iPhone, when they were limiting how many phones a single person could buy and needed your credit card for tracking purposes.)

We’ll see what happens on Friday, but I’m decidedly not optimistic anymore.  There’s a chance I’ll get an iPhone, but I’m not betting on it.  I’ll be one of those lunatics who checks a website somewhere daily to see where the next batch of units is shipping, and drop by there with my fingers crossed and money clutched in my hands. . .  ::sigh::

Every Apple keynote brings out the most insane overreactions and comments from the Apple Faithful.  Don’t get me wrong — I’m a drooling Apple fanboy.  I pre-ordered my first iPhone Monday night (I think).  I’m thrilled to be picking it up next week (hopefully).However, there’s an internet mindset amplified by the echo chamber of “popular opinion” and “conventional wisdom” that drives me nuts.  And then there’s the rush of coverage that falls over itself to get things out first.

Three cases of this have popped up this week, so far:

* People are complaining that they can’t upgrade from the 3G to the 3GS without paying extra.  I guess lots of people don’t understand the concept of a “subsidized” price and that they’re really spreading out the cost of the phone over the course of two years.  They’re not buying the phone any more cheaply than they did when it cost $599 on Day One.  Yes, AT&T may very well be evil, but this isn’t proof of it.  You’re just dumb if you don’t understand what a “subsidized price” is.  It’s a loan, basically, that AT&T gives you and you pay back every month for two years.  AT&T offers you the option of buying out your contract if you want to leave it early.

Here’s the best and biggest whiner of the bunch.  Thankfully, the commenters call him on it.  In his defense, he does have a legitimate complaint about confusion and AT&T not being able to communicate clearly.  Everything else?  Indefensible.

*Or, why not drop AT&T and spend $60 a month on a MiFi that you have to carry around everywhere with you to create a WiFi hot spot to use your iPhone in.  It only gets 4 hours of battery life, but it’s better than finishing up a contract with AT&T, right?

* People were disappointed that there was no “surprise Steve Jobs appearance” at the keynote today.  How in the wide wide world of sports would it have been a surprise, with so many people assuming/guessing it was going to happen?

Heck, given the way Apple Rumors go, it’s almost a bigger “surprise” that he DIDN’T show.

Words have lost their meaning, I fear.

* Even better, check out this link to a Gizmodo article titled “Everything You Need to Know About Snow Leopard.”

I laughed out loud when I saw it had to be UPDATED.  Guess it started off as “most everything you need to know,” eh?

From their iPhone email:

Catch that?  You can reserve your phone today.  Further on in the process, you’ll be told that you have to pick it up by the close of business day on Friday the 19th.

But, here’s the caveat:

Here, I’ll type it out for you:

“Pre-authorization does not guarantee iPhone availability at an Apple Retail Store. iPhone is sold on a first-come, first-served basis.”

So is it a “reservation” or a mere “pre-authorization” I did last night?  If it’s the latter, then I’ll redo the whole thing and have them ship the phone direct to my home or my parents’ house, where someone will be home to sign for a package. . .