This week, it arrived. It’s called SonicPics. It does just what I asked for.

You create a project, drop all the pictures in from your picture library on your iPhone then record your narration as you swipe across the screen to change slides. There are even three different recording quality choices.

You need to be on a wi-fi connection to then transfer the final video to YouTube or your computer. For whatever reason, you can’t just save the video into your photo library and then transfer it via iPhoto. It’s a bit kludgy, too: the app gives you an IP address you go to on your web browser, and there’s a page with the video to download. I don’t understand that part, but I can get past it. It still saves the video for you, so you could work on a second project while the first one is still sitting out there. It doesn’t stop you from doing any more work.

My dream new feature: Telestrator capabilities. Let me draw on the slides as I talk, and then erase that drawing when I flip to the new slide. That’s above and beyond, but it would be cool. I can do it on the desktop with SnapZ, but I want everything on the iPhone.

At $3.99, it’s worth it to me for all the things I could do with it — and plan on doing with it.

For now, here’s the video I made this afternoon to test it out. It’ll show you what HDR photography is, and how that can be done on the iPhone, as well. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

(Whoops. Vimeo mangled the transcoding. Am now uploading it to YouTube instead. Let’s see how that goes.)

OK, let’s try YouTube now:

Take a look at this:

This is how you create a slideshow in IrfanView, a wonderful and relatively simple Windows piece of freeware that I use for very basic image manipulation (cropping, scaling, brightness/contrast) when I’m at work and stuck on Windows.

It’s a mind-numbing number of options, presented in almost random fashion in rectangles spewed across a window. I think my favorite part is the bottom right corner, where you can add text to your slideshow with “simple” variable expressions. This is NOT a program for non-programmers.

Window management has also undergone changes. In recognition of the fact that people tend only to use one or two windows concurrently, 7 makes organizing windows quicker and easier. Dragging a window to the top of the screen maximizes it automatically; dragging it off the top of the screen restores it. Dragging a window to the left or right edge of the screen resizes the window so that it takes 50% of the screen. With this, a pair of windows can be quickly docked to each screen edge to facilitate interaction between them.

Of course, multiple Linux distributions should have it implemented by week’s end.

I’ve been thinking about the television shows my soon-to-be-born daughter will wind up watching. It’s obviously crucial that she watches only the right things. That’s by responsibility as a parent, after all.

So the question then becomes obvious: What’s the first DVD I plug in for her? Classic Bugs Bunny cartoons? DuckTales episodes? The Muppet Show, Season One?

The more I thought of it, though, the more annoyed I became at the thought of having to eject the DVD player’s tray, put a new disc in, push it back in, wait for it to be recognized by the player, get past the FBI warning screen, and then the annoyingly animated menu to come to a rest.

It made me want to go back and set up a home theater server, and burn all my DVDs to some central storehouse to be called up at a single key click. I don’t have the time and money for that right now, though.

Seriously, it wasn’t more than ten years ago we had to rewind a video tape to get back to the first scene in a movie after watching the whole thing. Now, I’m bothered that it’s not basically instantaneous.

We are so spoiled today.

(I’m definitely thinking “What’s Opera, Doc?” The music should make her happy. Or maybe “Rabbit of Seville,” as it discusses death a little less.)

;;HISTORY: ;;
;;Nov ‘82 – IDS, initial coding ;;
;;Dec ‘82 – more coding, hair pulling, general cruftiness ;;
;;Jan ‘83 – schedule screaming, rampant insanity, accusations ;;
;;Feb ‘83 – semi-winnage, accompanied by cries of anguish and threats;;
;;Mar ‘83 – Lucifer announces a cooling trend

And here’s a quote from that aforementioned developer:

“I do remember that [Donkey Kong Jr.] was started in FORTH, and was an ego-driven disaster until that nonsense stopped.”

Somehow, that just shattered a bunch of naive childhood memories.

• Here’s another good reason the internet was created: so someone else could apply every Photoshop filter to one photo to see what it gives you.

• Your Flash Game for the Day: Split Words.  Given a playing board filled with word parts, match up two or three parts to form answers in the board’s theme. It’s timed.  It’s nerve-wracking .And it gets very hard very fast.

• Anyone download Google Chrome yet?  I’m curious, but I’m a devoted Mac user without Parallels running.  Looks cool. The web browser is due for a paradigm shift, as much as I love Firefox and all its wonderful plug-ins.

• How Chrome came to be: First article.  Second article.

• Some classic 80s music videos, including “Sledgehammer” and “Take On Me.”

• iPhone document scanner set-up.  Pretty cool.

• Have you seen the first Jerry Seinfeld/Bill Gates commercial?  It’s awful.  Pointless.  Lacking in the humor department.  Bad.

• XKCD: Contentment at Protest

Nothing.

But people are speculating on it, whipping themselves up into a furor that can only end when said product is not revealed in September, and they blast Apple for not following through on a product Apple never promised in the first place.

It’s a vicious cycle.  Sometimes, some Apple fanboys make me nuts.

You know who else make me nuts?  Technology pundits who talk about how great a gadget or a piece of software will be for when you’re flying.  How often does the average person fly, you think? Technology pundits must be doing it all the time, whether they’re giving a speech, or attending a conference, or a product unveiling, or meeting with an advertiser.  That lifestyle directly impacts their recommendations.  Sadly, it’s a lifestyle most of us don’t lead.  So many tech pundits are full of hot air to the average consumer.  Sadly, many consumers don’t take this to heart.

Let’s hear about products that are good for people who work 40 – 50 hours a week, have precious little free time at home, and can’t afford to spend $500 on the gadget of the week.  Let’s talk about gadgets that WILL change our lives, not incremental upgrades of products we’ve already decided we don’t need.

Let’s hear about a product that’s good for those of us who can’t spend all day on a Mac — those of us who are stuck on a locked-down PC all day, with extremely limited web options.  I don’t  need to hear about how you synch your half dozen Macs with your iPhone and your iPod Touch, all without leaving the comfort of your house and open wi-fi connection.  Cloud computing is meaningless when the cloud is as inaccessible to you as your home computer.

Let’s get back to that music subscription model that the pundits all seem to think is The Future.  I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: I’m sick and tired of paying monthly fees for everything.  I’ve got enough of those bills coming in every month, thanks.  I’ll pay as I go for my music.  I agree — $100 doesn’t seem like much for a year’s worth of music.  But right now, I don’t pay anything to listen to music.  I already paid for it months or years ago.  I buy the few albums a year I might want, but I don’t honestly think I’ve spent $100 on music downloads and CDs in the last year, or 18 months.  Sure, I’d like to sample some new music, but I don’t need to.  I don’t have the time.  And I’m not paying for the pleasure.  I’ll follow the couple dozen bands and musicians I like as they release new stuff.  I’ll be happy with my six albums a year, tops, and that’ll leave me with plenty of time to listen to podcasts for free.

Those podcasts, in many cases, feature technology pundits who fly around the world and own seven Macs and listen to ten audible books a month.

I kid you not: I went back to listening to the latest Mac Break Weekly after writing this (admitted) rant, only to have Andy Ihnatko recommending a piece of software because it’s a great way to store your Travelocity information when you hop a plane to go somewhere.  I should start a website like IDoNotFlyThatMuchThanks.com to track the constant need of tech pundits to recommend or not recommend things mostly based on how well they fare on airplane trips.

Remember when –
– USENET was king, and why would you want to splinter off conversations to a million little websites?

– AltaVista was king?

– AltaVista was destroyed in an attempt to create another portal?

– Alltheweb.com challenged the young Google on the basis of speed?

– floppy discs were, at most, 1.4 megabytes?  And that would hold all your Word documents for years?

– When you could cut a notched on the other side of the 5.25″ floppy disc and then write to its backside?  Instant double capacity!

– WordPerfect and Word were both in their 5.x releases?  Good word processing times right there.

– People might have actually linked to Lycos?

– Zip drives were the future, with their huge 100MB cartridges that would backup your whole hard drive for $10 a pop?

• The teenager cashier at the supermarket I did my food shopping at this weekend, actually stopped scanning items for a minute to pull her cell phone out of the drawer and answer a text message.  I think I was staring at her with my jaw dropped while she casually made me wait, then went back to scanning things.

I know I’m an old man, but let’s start charging a dollar per text message — whatever it takes to cure the land of this evil scourge.

Oh, look, it’s already begun!