The wife and I are moving out of the one bedroom condo we’ve called home for the past few years.  (The wife has been here four, I’ve been here nearly two.)  We won’t move into our bigger and better home for a couple of weeks, but I am afraid I need to take a vacation day today.

Please, talk amongst yourselves in the comments below.  Give me all your harrowing moving stories.  By the time I read them, mine will be over and I won’t get nervous from reading about how bad it might get.

Thanks, and have a good weekend.  I’ll see you back here on Monday!

• Sometimes, the technicalities of rules can lead a sports team to do funny things. This 1994 soccer game takes the cake! It ends in a team scoring on itself in order to win.  Fascinating!

• Is this the look of the new MacBook Pro?

• Fans of reality TV are well aware of how aware the shows’ contestants are of the fact that they’re on reality shows.  Very meta, don’tcha think?  It also means the cliches have crept up.  Note this video of “I didn’t come here to make friends” pronouncements.   I hope someone follows this up with a video of losing contestants saying how happy they are to walk out as themselves, and not lose their souls to win.  ::sigh::

• Mike Tyson’s Punch Out — as played with Donkey Konga bongo drums.  Cool!

• Now THAT is a sandstorm! It looks like something out of “The Mummy.”

• Squirrels hide in the darnedest places.

• Is Mercedes phasing out gasoline in the next seven years?!?  Seems very quick, but I suppose it’s possible. Gotta love modern technology!

• While we’re on the topic: Solar-powered Prius. The ultimate vehicle?  Right now, they’d only power the air conditioning.  But, hey, it’s a start.

On this week’s episode of “Jon and Kate Plus Eight,” Jon uttered the phrase, “until they graduate college.”

Kate instantly scolded him for “leaving out the preposition.”  She prefers “graduate from college.”

Then, in her next sentence, she said she “could care less.”  Then she repeated it, “I could care less.”

So, to recap, she scolds her husband for leaving out [sic] a preposition that didn’t need to be there, and then uttered a completely meaningless sentence that’s a common grammatical faux pas without being castigated one bit for it.

She has it so good. . .

I’ve been diabetic for 21 years now.  I was WAY ahead of the curve on this one!
Diabetes rates skyrocket among Americans, CDC says - CNN.com

The number of Americans with diabetes has grown to about 24 million people, or roughly 8 percent of the U.S. population, the government said Tuesday.
The number of diabetics, who often use insulin pumps, has risen about 3 million over two years, says the CDC.

A report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, based on data from 2007, said the number represents an increase of about 3 million over two years. The CDC estimates another 57 million people have blood sugar abnormalities called pre-diabetes, which puts people at increased risk for the disease.

But the thing is, mine is genetic.  This epidemic mostly stems from people who don’t exercise enough or eat all of the wrong foods.  They’re going to see the bulk of spending done on fixing them, while those of us who are just stuck with it from birth will get nothing.

Life’s so fair, isn’t it?

Oh no he didn’t: Microsoft man dubs Wii a novelty - Nintendo Wii Fanboy

[A Microsoft executive] compared Wii buyers to “the same people that buy a karaoke machine,” and suggested that the console was simply “something [to] break out when people come over, and it’s maybe a fun thing […] They’re not really buying it for games, they’re just buying it as a novelty.”

It really is sad that they still don’t get it. The Wii has outsold the 360 every month save one for the last 18 months or so, and all MS can do to lick their wounds is say, “It’s a fad.”

Fads don’t last TWO Christmas seasons, coming on very strong for a third.  Sure, it’s a different type of gamer entering the market for the Wii.  That has to scare Microsoft.  They failed to broaden their market, so someone else did it for them without MS having a plan to capitalize on it.  Instead, MS seeks to marginalize the new or returning or casual gamers.

Screw you, 360.  I don’t need you.

(Now, comic fans, sub in Marvel/DC for “Microsoft” and manga for “Wii.”  Interesting.)

• The most amazing stat I’ve seen in a while: 62% of dial-up users have no interest in upgrading to a broadband connection.  In related news, 62% of horse owners want nothing to do with the internal combustion engine.

• Video of 100% score on the hardest Guitar Hero song.  Looks painful.

• Download Firefox 3 builds optimized for the Mac.

• Michael Bay’s rejected “Dark Knight” script.

Nearly random thoughts after watching the Pixar movie “Ratatouille” this weekend:

I’m sorry, but there’s no way I’m not going to flinch at the sight of an invasion of rats in a kitchen.  The lead rat is cute.  His brother is lovable.  His father is respectable.  But to see dozens of them swarming around food?  I can’t buy into it.

That said, it’s a great movie. It all fits together, even if most of it was (like most Disney movies, honestly) easy to predict from a very early stage.  The ending, most satisfyingly, was not something I predicted, though.  That took me by surprise, made a lot of sense, and definitely sealed the movie with a happy ending worth enjoying.

Loved the “Lifted” short film.  This was the first I saw it.  I love silly slapstick, and an alien who can’t drag a human out of bed and into his ship will make me laugh every time. I think it was the bold brassy music that really sold it, though.  Every time the music turns into a soaring John Williams riff, you expect something dramatic and awe-inspiring.  And that’s when the alien hits the wrong switch.

The biggest surprise of the movie for me: The true break-out star of the movie is an Augie!  Auguste Gusteau (nice punny name) rocked!

Was enjoying the credits, but thinking that the painted style looked somehow familiar.  I had forgotten that Scott Morse worked on this movie until I saw his name in the credits.

Something for Pipeline: There’s a bold image at the end of the credits, basically promising that the movie was done without shortcuts — no motion capture done here!  I liked that a lot, particularly given the past week’s “Alex Ross Ruined Comics” blogosphere debate.

Here’s what I’m excited about:

That’s the deluxe boxed set, which is the only one worth getting.

Interesting landscape this week:

• Batman: Gotham Knight

It’s the animated prequel to “The Dark Knight.”  Written by a bunch of comic writers.

• Superhero Movie

This is the superhero movie parody movie.  Somehow, it didn’t get sued by DC/Marvel for using their joint “superhero” trademart.  Still, it made almost $60 million worldwide.

• Jake and the Fatman: Season One

It’s my list.  I can include whatever I want.  And for some reason, I feel like mentioning this one.  Odd.

• Fastlane: Complete Series

If you’re a “Saved by the Bell” completist and you want to fill out your Tiffani Amber Thiesson collection after “Beverly Hills 90210,” here you go.

Next week: “Birds of Prey: The Complete Series”

• Funniest XKCD comic I’ve seen: MacGyver Gets Lazy.

• Scully’s father died.  Sad. He was also on that Stargate show, it seems.

• Greatest alarm clock ever: Every time you don’t wake up, it calls a random number on your cell phone.  Wake up by ticking off your friends!

• Hellboy on Inside the Actor’s Studio.  I laughed.

• I never thought a show like “Wipeout” would make it to air in America, just for litigious reasons. It’s way too easy a show for a contestant to get hurt on and sue for big damages.  Why risk it?  Why not just do a trivia show?  There’s a fifty page release form contestants have to sign, and special mud to make their landings soft.

Yes, this one is short.  Time for a long weekend. I’ll see you back here on Monday, for sure.  But you never know — if something strikes my fancy, I might pop up over the weekend.

• Color pictures of Mark Twain.  Never thought I’d see that.

• Classic paintings - with extra ducks.

• They’re remaking The Prisoner as a TV show. Ian McKellan will play Number Two, which is pretty cool.

• OK, this is cute: Colbert vs. Cookie Monster.

• How to take pictures of fireworks this weekend.

• Ladies and gentlemen, I present the bat%&^ insane Mary Murphy.

“So, to be clear, when dancers enter the Tra La La zone, they have achieved something greater than landing a spot on the Hot Tamale Train, the gold standard Murphy established last season when a fiery jive performance prompted her to issue first-class tickets on the “hot tamale train” for the couple, confusing everyone around her, including executive producer and judge Nigel Lythgoe.”

• The most exciting golf simulator coming for the Wii looks to be CustomPlay Golf.

New month, new movies.

And, honestly, I can’t get excited about any of them.

So, instead, I present to you this:

Rock out. Yeah, it’s mostly Aerosmith songs, but any new Guitar Hero songs are good Guitar Hero songs at this point.

Used car salesmen get a bad rap.  They’re not the worst salesmen in the world.

For that particular distinction, we must look to the world of furniture.

There is no more actively annoying and intrusive sales person than the furniture salesman.  First of all, they hover en masse at the front door to “greet” you.  Then, after thrusting their business card in your face, they ask you what you’re looking for.  Great, you think, they’ll point me to the right area.  They do point you to the right area, and then do you the “favor” of shadowing you.  They’ll follow about ten feet behind you, stalking you, listening to everything you say, and then swooping in to try to sell you on a furniture set if you find one you’re potentially interested in.

That’s if you’re lucky.

If you’re NOT lucky, you get the salesman we had at Macy’s this weekend, who takes you on a whirlwind tour.  First, he tells you he’s going to let you look around, but then also tells you he’s going to follow you so the other salesmen don’t bother you.  Then, he asks you what you’re looking for after you’ve seen two things, grabs you by the arm (metaphorically, thank heavens), and yanks you all over the sales floor showing you everything that fits into your parameters.  At each one, he promises he has just two things left to show you. He never gives you time to look at something or to discuss it. He just yanks you all over the place, knocking on all the dovetail joints of every drawer to show you how sturdy and serious the piece is.

When you tell your salesman at the end of this process — when you have the first chance to breathe, let alone talk — that you’re just starting to look and won’t be buying anything today, he tells you how disappointed he is.

That’s when you ask where the front door is, because you’re so disoriented from running around that you have no idea if the direction you’re heading will take you to the rugs department, the exit, or Siberia.

When we get to the sales portion of this process, I can’t wait to see what happens.  Every furniture place offers 0% financing for so many months and free delivery on Memorial Day weekend, Labor Day weekend, Presidents Day, July 4th, Labor Day, etc.  There are so many holidays they come up with an excuse to have a sale for that I don’t understand why they don’t make that offer every day of the year. Really, if they can afford free shipping and 0% financing for all those weekends, aren’t they just ripping you off the rest of the year when they’re not offering it?

The Mrs. and I learned a valuable lesson this weekend:  Don’t go furniture shopping unless you’re prepared to buy.  And, most likely, don’t go unless you already know exactly what you’re looking for. We’re going to find what we like on-line before we head out to the awful brick and mortar torture chambers that furniture stores are.

We now also see why IKEA is such a pleasurable place to shop.

• This past weekend, at the end of the women’s Olympic try-outs, they lined up all the gymnasts on stage in front of thousands of people, and cheered them on.  Most stood there with their bouquet of roses and smiled.  One at the end was too busy on her Blackberry texting someone to notice that her country was trying to honor her.

• The teenager cashier at the supermarket I did my food shopping at this weekend, actually stopped scanning items for a minute to pull her cell phone out of the drawer and answer a text message.  I think I was staring at her with my jaw dropped while she casually made me wait, then went back to scanning things.

I know I’m an old man, but let’s start charging a dollar per text message — whatever it takes to cure the land of this evil scourge.