Mania in the Men’s Room

I could write a book on the craziness that goes on in men’s rooms. I could name it something like “Blowing the Stall Door Open,” but I’m sure someone’s seen that happen already. Here’s a recent example of the kind of nuttiness that will either make you cringe or laugh or want to strangle someone:

Guy finishes his business at the urinal. It’s self-flushing, so he’s safe from germs so far.

Then he goes over to the paper towel dispenser and pushes on the handle to get some paper towels. This man — who we’re about to discover is a germaphobe — just used his dirty hands to soil the paper towel dispenser. Thanks, pal!

He goes over to the sink to do a full handwashing. The water is automatic, but the soap is in a dispenser you have to touch to get. I’m guessing — though I couldn’t see at the time — that he used one of the paper towels to prevent his dirty hands from touching the dirty soap dispenser. Too bad the towel dispenser didn’t get such courtesy.

So he scrubs his hands like a doctor. The soap goes between each pair of fingers vigorously. He’s seriously about this. When he’s done, he dries his hands carefully with the paper towels he previously pulled off and touched with his dirty dirty hands.

Once dried, he disposes of the towels in the open garbage receptable, takes a step towards the door, and GRABS THE DOOR HANDLE WITH HIS BARE HAND, opens the door, and walks out.

He went through that whole charade to keep his hands “clean” only to fail on the last step and touch the bare door handle.


This man has a lot to learn from Dan Benjamin and Merlin Mann.