Weird Al’s Tour Rider

(The following was written a year ago and accidentally never published. Let’s make up for lost time tonight…)

While looking up some information on “Weird Al” Yankovic’s current tour, I found a PDF of a rider from his contract for the 2010 tour. It’s filled with all sorts of nitty gritty stuff that you’d expect a concert contract to have: No advertising signage within 50′ of the stage. 50 tickets in the center section must be given to the artist. What local laws might affect this performance? Where is the rigging? What’s the venue’s layout? Etc. etc.

Then, there’s the M&M section. This is the section that you see occasionally quoted across the web or in wacky news stories of the day. The most famous one is the artist who wanted a bowl of M&Ms with one specific color removed. Well, Weird Al has one of those sections, too. . And it’s not too crazy, but some of it is curious:

- 6 plastic bottles of assorted organic fresh fruit juice (Evolution, Naked, Odwalla, Bolthouse Farms, etc.)

I believe Weird Al is a vegetarian. He’s in really good shape, so this stuff doesn’t surprise or bother me.

- 12 Heineken (in bottles) - 6 Heineken Light (in bottles) - 6 Miller Lite (in bottles) - 6 Bottles of Stella or Pyramid Hefe Weizen beer

Hey, the band has to drink, too.

- 24 bottles of water (no Dasani brand please)

What’s up with that? Very courteous to say “please” here, I must say. But no Dasani? It can’t be an anti-Pepsi thing, because Diet Pepsi shows up later in the contract.

- 24 cans Coca-Cola CLASSIC

Because that new stuff still sucks, 25 years later.

- 6 cans Diet Coca-Cola - 6 cans Diet Pepsi - 12 cans 7-UP - 6 cans Dr. Pepper - 1 Bottle Patron (ON FRIDAYS ONLY!!)

What’s so special about Friday nights?

- 3 bottles of good red wine (Pinot Noir) - 1 bottle of good Sauvignon Blanc wine - 1 bottle of good Chardonnay or White Burgundy – 2 bottles of good Merlot - 10 additional large plastic cups

Is this so they can tailgate out in the parking lot, with a good Merlot?

- 2 Rolls of paper towels

Accidents do happen.

Dressing room assignments section includes this:

# 6 – Local 501st Legion (very large room). These performers are featured during the Star Wars-themed song in the show. Room needs to accommodate up to 15 people with general seating (couches and/or chairs) and a central area for rehearsing. Please provide (1) ONE boombox for playback/rehearsal. NOTE: Where possible, this room should be located in a SEPARATE AREA from AL and band.

I love Al…

When Musical Powerhouses Collide!

Ladies and gentlemen, here’s what happens when Weird Al Yankovic meets Jim Steinman and hilarity ensues: